Thursday, 31 May 2018
Sunday, 6 May 2018
Five More Orgasms for Mistress and a Ruin for Me...
Since my last post Mistress has enjoyed five wonderful orgasms and I have been allowed to ruin once, then last night after her orgasm and some foot worship Mistress stroked my cock until I was nice and hard while I was allowed to rub my fingers around her asshole. Then she straddled me and slid her soaking wet pussy onto my hard cock, it felt absolutely amazing (as I’m sure you can imagine) and Mistress rode me for some time.
My cock stayed rock hard throughout but I never felt that I was close to losing control, it was so good to be so effortlessly hard and look up to watch Mistress grinding her pussy on my cock. Of course it’s times like these when I just want to blow the whole ‘chastity’ thing off and empty my balls into her hot, wet pussy… but I’m far too well trained for that these days.
Instead I begged to be allowed to see her gorgeous breasts, and then watched as she (very slowly it has to be said, some might even say deliberately, ponderously slowly) removed her bra and exposed her beautiful tits for me to touch and feel. Now I wasn’t so much thinking about filling her hot, wet hole, instead I was picturing spraying my hot cum across those awesomely sexy tits and licking them clean.
Sadly, neither of these things happened, and eventually Mistress climbed off and edged me with her hand. It was still pretty awesome it has to be said, and after all this is exactly what I asked for isn’t it? 
Saturday, 21 April 2018
More Graphs!
So if you thought I was done with the statistical analysis, well, not quite… here’s a couple more graphs to be going on with.
This first one breaks down my orgasms over the last seven years into four categories, Full orgasm with cum eating, Full orgasm with no cum eating, Ruined orgasm with cum eating and Ruined orgasm with no cum eating. The numbers on these graphs are actual instances, not percentages.
This second graph is a little more complicated, it breaks down the full orgasms and shows where/how I was allowed to cum and whether I ate my cum or not. There haven’t been any instances of cumming on Mistress’s ass/feet/breasts/pussy and not licking up my cum… there was one (blissful) instance of cumming in Mistress’s mouth and then having my cum fed back to me.
It is slightly depressing that I’ve only been allowed to cum on Mistress’s gorgeous feet four times in seven years though…
There is one more (slightly bizarre) bit of analysis to deal with before we can move on. I got a diary at the start of the year, which prompted an idea in my head. So I wrote in the diary all of Mistress and I’s orgasms and wondered if any patterns would emerge. With seven years of data you would expect that things would be pretty even, even though the leap years maybe warp things a little. Still, over seven years you wouldn’t really expect there to be any days without any ‘activity’ at all, except perhaps birthdays, anniversaries or national holidays when we’re likely to be out for dinner or have family commitments.
Not so, Jan 3rd has been a complete washout for seven years. As has the 10th, 14th and 19th of February, the 5th and 6th of April, the 15th of May, the 3rd of June, the 4th 13th, 21st and 23rd of July, the 4th and 7th of August, the 2nd and 16th of October, the 2nd, 3rd and 29th of November, the 12th, 21st and 25th of December!
So the 14th of February is understandable, as are the 2nd and 16th of October, but the rest I have no explanation for.
So, what are the good days?
Well for Mistress R there are twelve days where she’s cum five times out of seven, and three (13th May, 24 Jun and the 8th of Aug) when she’s cum six times out of seven.
For me, well, obviously there are innumerable dates which are completely barren, after all I’ve cum less than half as many times than there are days (even including ruined ones), so any multiples are remarkable really…
Odd then that there are so many, in fact there are fifteen days where I’ve cum twice on the same date, also eight where I’ve had one real and one ruined orgasm, and over and above that we have two dates which have proven particularly fruitful for me. The first is the 4th of January which has seen me granted 2 real and 1 ruined orgasm over the last seven years, and the 27th of December, which takes the overall crown as I’ve enjoyed three full orgasms on that particular date in the last seven years.
Well, I think that’s probably about exhausted the statistical analysis for this year, I hope you enjoyed them (especially Ariel), and maybe now I’ve had a bit of a break from the blog I might feel inclined to start posting a bit more again.
Monday, 2 April 2018
The Start of Another Chastity Year...
Well, it’s April again, so that can only mean one thing – we made it through another year of Chastity. In a way it’s almost strange to think how natural it is now that we’ve been doing this so long, especially when you think how tough it was to get this particular ball rolling.
I’ve been posting much less this year, honestly it is quite difficult to continue to find things to write about when there’s not much ‘new’ to report, that’s probably why most chastity blogs die out I guess…
Still, it doesn’t seem to make any discernible difference to the blog’s popularity, so thanks for everyone who still visits my blog every day and keeps the numbers so unbelievably high – I’m sure I will post more again in the future, and since I’ve not written one story yet this year and I aimed for six, I’d better get on the case with that sooner rather than later.
Still, it’s become tradition that at the end of each Chastity Year I produce a couple of graphs showing how things have progressed, and this year is no different, so without further ado: Graphs!
As you can see, Mistress’s orgasm rate has picked up slightly from the last couple of years, but is still some way behind what it was 2-3 years ago. Hopefully we can get it back up there this coming year.
Well this one certainly shows an upswing, after a very slow start, my rate of Ruined Orgasms has certainly picked right up, though I wouldn’t imagine it will get up too much higher… but you never know!
Well this one clearly shows the steady decline of my real orgasms over the years (apart from a glitch in 15/16 of course). At one point it really looked like it was going to be single figures, but it was not to be. This was also the first year where I had three separate months without a real orgasm, and only one month with more than one. Four times in October 2015 seems like a lifetime ago.
It was always a kind of ‘unofficial’ target that Mistress should have ten orgasms for every one of mine, and last year we got really close… but this year we totally smashed it!
One more thing, as far as the Milovana teases go, I got nominated for the November Flash tease of the Month, but didn’t win it.
I didn’t get nominated for anything in December.
I got nominated for both Classic and Flash tease of the month in January, but lost both despite having a huge lead to start with.
And again I’m nominated for February for Flash tease, but not scoring too well (but I didn’t expect to with this one).
The voting seems very fishy, even the guy who runs the site messaged me and pretty much said that something very dubious is going on, but he doesn’t know how he can stop it. Ah well, my final House of Edging tease will probably get nominated for March so we’ll have to see how that one goes…
Sunday, 18 February 2018
FEMDOM SESSION: 18th February 2018
Mistress and I are determined that this year we will do our very best not to ‘lose’ Femdom Sessions, we managed seven last year… but it’s supposed to be once a month so we basically ‘lost’ five sessions. It’s only been three weeks since our last session but our schedule is getting kinda busy so we decided we should definitely do it this weekend even though I’m still not entirely rid of my ‘cold’ or whatever it is. On top of that I have been super-tired this weekend, I slept in til 10:15 on Saturday morning and pretty late this morning too…
Since our last session Mistress had replaced my favourite ‘cupless’ PVC top, and I have to say I was a little concerned since I hadn’t seen the new one and the old one was fantastic. I must admit though, when Mistress showed me the old one out of session it was clearly past it’s best and looked pretty knackered. I needn’t have worried, because the new one looked even better than the old one and really matches the new PVC skirt we got for her last year.
Heading in to this session I hadn’t cum properly since New Year’s Eve, but I had one ruined orgasm in January and one just the other night. Because of that I was a bit unsure that Mistress would let me cum, I kinda thought she would but then when she ruined me the other night I then thought probably not…
I didn’t have anything to confess to, but Mistress still punished me for missing a few foot worships and towels, but it wasn’t too bad, and soon I was worshiping her gorgeous feet while she played with her glass dildo. I was told to keep my eyes down (no blindfold today) and she teased me about what she was doing up above me on the bed. I really enjoyed worshiping her feet and my cock was semi-hard in the Oxballs Cocksling most of the time.
When Mistress finally decided that I had worshiped her feet to her satisfaction she sat up and told me to get up on the bed and kneel between her legs. This was something new, and very hot indeed. As I knelt between her legs Mistress continued to fuck herself with the dildo, occasionally allowing me to suck her juices off it, while teasing me about having another guy sliding his cock inside her while reaching around to play with her beautiful breasts.
My cock was rock hard watching her like this, even though it hadn’t been touched at this point, and it would have been awesome to have been allowed to slide my cock inside her right then.But of course, I wasn’t allowed, I just had to watch and enjoy the feeling as she used her foot to tease my aching cock.
After a while Mistress got up and had me lay down on my back, she secured me to the bed and then stood over me (she looked incredible in her new outfit) and then sank her pussy down onto my face. She tasted amazing and she quickly moved back and sank her wet pussy down onto my cock. It felt wonderful, but it didn’t last long before she was standing over me again, scratching and slapping my cock and balls, while teasing me with a perfect view of her stunning pussy and ass.
Mistress sank down on my face a few times, and rode my cock again a couple of times before she knelt by the side of me and started really clawing at my cock and balls, it was quite painful but very hot, and then she brought up the subject of whether or not she would allow me to cum.
She asked me if I would rather a) cum inside her and have her sit on my face, b) cum inside her and have her use her dildo then have me lick at suck it clean, c) cum on her beautiful feet, or d) cum on her gorgeous tits.
Decisions, decisions, decisions…
Well you all know how much I love to cum on Mistress’s pretty feet, and it’s been a while. But the other options were also very appealing, but b) was something we’d never done before, so I had to choose that (although Mistress did say at the time that she probably wasn’t going to let me cum anyway).
While she was teasing me about letting me shoot on her pretty feet she was sitting on the bed next to me and started playing with my cock with her feet. My cock was very hard inside the snug confines of the Oxballs Cocksling and it felt good enough that I was already kinda regretting my decision slightly, I mean I really LOVE cumming on Mistress’s feet…
Mistress decided it was time I had something in my ass and slid the old glass butt plug with the ring handle on it inside me and blindfolded me before clipping the pegs to my nipples. Then she left me to stew for a little while. For the first few minutes my cock was still hard, but as it inevitably started to fade that familiar stinging sensation appeared (I guess I’d had the Cocksling on for about 35 mins at this point so it’s not entirely unexpected).
When Mistress came back she picked up the cock whip from the bedside cabinet and started trying to whip the pegs off of my nipples. It was very painful but very hot at the same time and Mistress eventually pulled the pegs off and then stood over me before taking the blindfold off.
The PVC skirt had gone and in it’s place Mistress had on the awesome Ann Summers crotchless painties…
Honestly this picture really doesn’t show their full awesomeness… in reality what happens is that the panties push Mistress’s pussy lips out and forwards which looks super-sexy, and when she sank down onto my face she was absolutely soaking wet (which I’m sure was nothing at all to do with watching me suffer as she tried to whip the pegs off – yeah, she’s not fooling anyone with her pleas of innocence!).
Honestly this picture really doesn’t show their full awesomeness… in reality what happens is that the panties push Mistress’s pussy lips out and forwards which looks super-sexy, and when she sank down onto my face she was absolutely soaking wet (which I’m sure was nothing at all to do with watching me suffer as she tried to whip the pegs off – yeah, she’s not fooling anyone with her pleas of innocence!).
Mistress fucked herself with her glass dildo again and had me clean it one more time before she removed the butt plug from my ass and allowed me to get up and to take my Cocksling off. It was nice to get it off, although I must admit, Mistress had managed to distract me enough that I had forgotten about the stinging. Or maybe she just made me hard again and that stopped it…
Now I got to bury my face between Mistress’s gorgeous legs and taste her pussy properly and she was super wet and super turned on. It felt like she could cum really quick, but that was last thing I wanted and so I took it nice and slow, building the sensations slowly and teasing her pussy and ass with my fingers until finally she had a really hard orgasm, which made us both very happy.
Mistress told me to lick my fingers clean and then stood on the bed and had me lick her from behind to clean her pussy. Then she told me to lay down on the bed and stood over me again, she grabbed my cock and got me hard while I gazed up at her absolutely dripping wet pussy. It looked so delicious and I asked her if I could please lick her clean. It tasted incredible and then Mistress allowed me to very briefly tongue her ass as well.
Then she suddenly decided she wanted me up and I thought for a moment that she was going to let me cum on her feet, but she moved onto the bed and pulled me between her legs. Unfortunately my cock chose this moment (of all moments) to lose a little steam and so Mistress told me to lay down again and knelt beside me, stroking me until I was nice and hard again before sinking down onto my cock. She told me she wanted me to cum inside her and within a few strokes I was cumming. It was very intense and Mistress quickly lifted off and grabbed her glass dildo, she slid it inside herself and then had me suck it, but there didn’t seem to be much cum on it. She did it again and then sank down on my face, I licked her pussy for a few second until she lifted off and had one more go with the dildo. I could taste the cum but it wasn’t quite how I imagined, perhaps the massive load I spilled the other night during my ruined orgasm meant I was running a little light?
But still, it was awesome and I’m so glad that we did it and that we’ve already got two sessions on the board by mid-February, which is two more than we had this time last year!
This also marked Mistress’s 800th orgasm since we started the blog (and full time chastity for me) on April 1st 2011. By comparison this was my 118th orgasm, although this year’s figures (100 / 9) gives a more realistic picture of how things are these days. I’m also happy that Mistress has ruined me 12 times this year (our years run April to March by the way) and only allowed me 9 proper orgasms, I think that’s a huge step forward and it’s fascinating to watch her watch the cum leak out of me and how she makes me thank her for ruining my orgasms – that is super awesome.
Saturday, 3 February 2018
DARK ROOMS Spoiler Map
Before you head off to Milovana to play 'House of Edging: The Dark Rooms', I thought I would give you the opportunity to print or copy the map below. Of course you can play without it if you prefer, but it will be a lot easier with it!
Either way, have fun.
Link to the tease:
Sunday, 28 January 2018
FEMDOM SESSION: 28th January 2018
I’m so happy that January is nearly over, I literally cannot wait until Thursday so that we can put it behind us and move on. You may remember my previous whingeing about the shitness of January a few posts back, and for the most part it totally lived up to it. Even when we had a gig to go to, it ended up that the band we wanted to see were sick so they only played four songs, with the guitar player singing because the singer had lost his voice. Still it was only a four hour round trip. That sums up fucking January for me…
But of course, there have been some great moments in January too. Every one of Mistress’s wonderful orgasms have shone like a beacon of light and made the dullest, tedious month since time began bearable. And not only that but today we had our first Femdom session of 2018, which put a considerable shine on things too.
As usual I was quite nervous going into the session, I always am and I probably always will be. Mistress told me to wear my blindfold and cuffs but left the rest to me and while I would have liked to have chosen the ballstretcher, I haven’t woken up hard the last couple of days like I have recently (I seem to have a really low level cold which is annoying me a bit) so I decided to go for the plain rubber cock ring and the old ring-ended butt plug.
Mistress didn’t have too much to punish me for, since I have been very good about not touching my cock this year so far. There was a couple or three mornings I forgot to put her towels out and a few nights where I neglected to kiss her feet before she went to sleep, but thankfully punishment was short and not too painful (certainly a lot nicer than last time).
As ever Mistress soon had me worshiping her feet while she played with her glass dildo, stopping occasionally to have me suck it for her. Although, unusually she had me lick her pussy briefly right at the start of the session, I nearly forgot about that…!
It wasn’t long before Mistress had me on my back and secured to the bed, and I was soon tasting her soaking wet pussy which felt like silk on my tongue. So good!
Mistress asked me what I thought she might be wearing and I said I hoped she would be wearing her cupless bra top. Mistress said that maybe we should play a little game and that if I guessed right maybe I would get a little reward, but if I got it wrong then I would get more punishment. Then she said that maybe my reward would just be not getting more punishment…
Mistress gave my balls some hard slaps while she was stroking my cock and alternated between punishing my cock and gently sucking on it, she also licked my balls at one point which felt really, really nice I have to say.
The time seemed to fly by and Mistress decided she was going to put the pegs on my nipples extra early for a change. Then she started using the whip on me, which was really cool actually. She used it on my inner thighs and chest and it felt really good, except when she hit the pegs it dislodged them on their springs and the one on my left nipple bit in super hard.
Mistress allowed me to lick her pussy again and also teased me with her gorgeous ass, before leaving me alone for a while. I managed to zone out a bit and ignore the pain in my nipple but I knew it was going to really hurt when she pulled it off.
When Mistress came back she straddled me and fucked herself with her dildo again before having me suck on it again and then removed my blindfold, allowing me to see her for the first time. She looked amazing and she was indeed wearing the cupless bra top.
Then she put the dildo down and reached out to remove the pegs, she went for the left hand one first and I clenched my teeth and screwed my eyes shut because I knew it was going to hurt more than usual. But Mistress wasn’t having that.
“Look at me.” she said.
I opened my eyes and looked up to see her smiling eagerly in anticipation. She squeezed the peg open and I twisted on the bed as the pain hit. The other one hurt but nothing like as much, and all the time Mistress was smiling down at me, gleefully enjoying my suffering – which made it very hot for me too, of course…
Finally Mistress let me up and told me to remove my cock ring, however, the butt plug stayed in place while I settled between her legs and finally got to lick her gorgeous pussy properly. Mistress was wearing some old-fashioned crotchless pants which slightly hindered access to her ass, but I managed to apply a little pressure there and used another finger to tease her pussy while I licked her super-wet pussy until she had a really hard orgasm.
After this Mistress had me lay down on the bed on my front and she started spanking my ass and fucking my ass with the ring-ended butt plug. Then she told me she was going to fuck me properly and slipped her strap-on on and moved behind me. She had me up on all fours and pushed the strap-on all the way into my ass in one move.
She fucked me for a while, slapping my ass now and again and occasionally stopping to tease my cock (though it was pretty soft at this point). I can’t remember the last time I was fucked properly like this but it was quite a while ago, and though I wanted it to happen it was very intense and I was glad when it was over (but also glad that Mistress had fucked me properly too).
Finally Mistress had me lay on my back again and she allowed me to lick her gorgeous ass while she pumped my cock (which thankfully was nice and hard again). She told me she wasn’t going to let me cum, which I didn’t really expect anyway. It’s only been 28 days and I had a ruined orgasm last week so I would have been surprised if she had let me cum really.
I must admit I did kinda hope she would let me cum on her gorgeous feet though, but not today…
Tuesday, 23 January 2018
BOOK REVIEW: 22's Depravity by Maitresse P
Some of you might remember my… lets say ‘mixed’ feelings about Maitresse P’s book ’22’s Diary’. The book contained some good material, but was fatally hampered by poor presentation, terrible formatting and even repeated tracts of text. As a diary it also suffered from a lack of being organised into ‘entries’ and so it was equally as confusing as it was infuriating to read, which was a shame, because there was some good parts to it…
There was also a couple of other things which seriously got on my nerves, one the retraction of names got so ridiculous that at some parts it was impossible to know who was being spoken about, but the worst thing of all was the substitution of the word ‘always’ when the author used the word ‘just’. And this author used the word ‘just’ all the fucking time.
Imagine this simple passage…
“I’m just off to the shops to buy a packet of crisps and then I just need to grab a paper and nip down the road, it’s just that I need to get some money from the cash machine… I won’t be long just wait here for me…”
As…
“I’m always off to the shops to buy a packet of crisps and then I always need to grab a paper and nip down the road, it’s always that I need to get some money from the cash machine… I won’t be long always wait here for me…”
Imagine that for page after page after page. I can’t believe I actually bothered to stick with it… indeed, I returned it to Amazon once I’d read it because I knew I couldn’t bear to read it again.
So I was rather surprised when the author posted a comment on my blog thanking me for reviewing the book and promising that the follow up was better written, and so here we are… though if it wasn’t for the fact that my credit card gives me Amazon vouchers every month then we probably wouldn’t be to be honest!
So, first impressions aren’t great. Once again the spine and back are plain white, suggesting little care has been taken with the presentation. However, a brief flick though suggests a little more care has been taken with the editing. So that’s good.
Opening the book, I did unfortunately fall straight on something which bugged me in the first book though, but I won’t go into that again (well, maybe later!).
I’ve decided to write this review as I go along. I’ve read about fifty pages now and I have to say, this book is definitely better than the first one. So far there’s been almost no editing errors, no duplicated pages, and the names are present which makes it so much easier to follow what’s supposed to be going on.
Not that it’s all 100% clear, this still reads like random entries in a diary, and sometimes there are bits that appear out of the blue and make no sense regarding the rest of the story. But overall this is a massive improvement, and is a lot more enjoyable to read, which is a relief, because ’22’s Diary’ was the single most annoying book I have ever read in my life!
It’s hard to explain this book, it’s not really something you would read while masturbating. It doesn’t really describe sex like erotic fiction does… it’s more about the dynamic between the husband and wife, which does have an effect on you when you read it but isn’t like one of my stories (for example). There’s a lot of ‘texts’ and ’emails’ between the two and a lot about the ‘angst’ of the husband as 22 pushes him to prove his devotion to her, I guess it would depend a lot on what you’re looking for as to whether this book will appeal. I find it interesting and stimulating rather than overtly arousing. I will read some more and see how things progress.
I’m about half way through the book now and I’ve still only spotted three or four typos, which is not good, but given the state of the first book… it’s a massive improvement. I think at one point someone has used ‘find and replace’ to insert the name Franco instead of Frank, because on one page it says ‘We need to have a Franco discussion’.
But anyway, minor quibbles aside, this book is oddly readable, and almost makes me want to read the first one again – except if I did I know it would annoy the crap out of me. Would you be able to read this one without having read ’22’s Diary’… I guess you could, but it would make a whole lot more sense if you’d read the other one.
The book has taken a left turn somewhere along the way and the dynamic of the relationship between 22 and her husband has changed. She ends up in rehab after disappearing to score heroin and spending a couple of nights in a motel with a dodgy character who steals her car…
So yeah, not exactly jerking material… as I mentioned earlier.
I suppose it’s a testament to the strength of the story though that it remains intriguing and readable despite it’s shortcomings. As the book goes on the way it’s presented becomes less of an issue, but there are still some random ‘diary’ entries which might leave you scratching your head now and again.
But mainly the frustrating side of it is that things are addressed in one email or text and then you kind of expect this to lead to a ‘scene’, but it never does. So you get a kind of ‘we need to talk about ‘x’ tonight’ and then maybe the next entry is an email saying ‘I wasn’t happy with the conversation last night’, but you kind of feel like you’ve been short changed – because you want to know how the conversation went…
I think if Maitresse P can ever truly get her act together, she could write a superb book. But I think it might take more than a couple of goes, this is certainly going in the right direction though, and I’ll keep on reading…
I’m still reading… I realise this is a rather odd way to review a book. I also realise I haven’t really told you much about what’s going on. So to summarise…
There’s a woman (called 22) who is married to a rich guy with a ‘smallish’ dick. He gets off on a certain amount of humiliation and being cuckolded, but also has other women sometimes. 22 is prone to pushing things and has a thing for black thug type guys with big dicks… she’s also prone to drug taking and getting drunk and making generally bad choices. I don’t want to say too much about the book because I don’t want to spoil it (in case somebody wants to read it), it sounds pretty awful from my description but it’s actually surprisingly engaging.
I’ve read some more now and the book is continuing it’s left turn… and is becoming less and less about the sex side and more and more about the trials of 22 and her husband’s relationship, as the two face up to the fact that maybe they would be better off without each other in their lives.
There was also a slightly odd moment when the author kind of broke the fourth wall somewhat. It says something about ‘thanks to all my readers’ and something else that leads me to think this is basically a printed version of someone’s blog…
Hmm..
My enthusiasm is waning somewhat, as the story is becoming a little wearing. I think I see where this is going and the third quarter of the book seems to be the set-up for the finale, but right now it’s a bit tedious…
It’s hard to know who you’re supposed to be rooting for since everyone is pretty unlikeable. Well, clearly you’re supposed to be rooting for ’22’ herself, but that’s kind of hard since although I guess the premise is that she’s the ‘wronged’ woman, she’s not a very sympathetic character.
I guess we’ll see where this goes, but right now I pretty much know this book is getting sold as soon as I finish it.
Still reading… but it’s becoming a slog now. There just isn’t enough actual ‘sex’ in this book. There’s even less than in the first one I think… there’s lots of talk about ‘what happened last night’ and ‘those niggas really tore up my white pussy’ (seriously)… ‘and he’s really hung and I’m so sore today’, but aside from a few very brief passages it’s all kinda ‘off stage’.
In general the editing seems to have maintained it’s quality, although it’s still not as good as it could have been (just add some fucking diary dates to separate the entries or something!) and there is a peculiar thing that starts occurring about half way through the book. I assume something has been accidentally ‘find and replaced’, because there is a repeated ‘odd’ use of the word ‘Tinder’.
It’s almost like a game, see if you can find the one word which actually fits all these sentences.
“I saw Tinder man today.”
“I saw Chad last night… we had Tinder…”
“She threw a cup at me, I mean it was only a Tinder cup, but even so…”
“I met ‘random guy’ for Tinder.”
At first I thought ‘Tinder’ was some colloquial term for ‘sex’, but I thought that a little strange given the nature of the book and some of the content. The second sentence suggests it means ‘dinner’, but what then is a ‘dinner cup’ and why is her friend called ‘Dinner man’, it doesn’t really make any sense.
And even less sense when later in the book 22 discovers actual ‘Tinder’… so what the fuck was she talking about before?
So I slogged through the last twenty pages or so and right at the end of the book, the very last few pages – we finally get something approaching a sex scene. The one thing this book needed, but it’s too little too late. If scenes like this had been peppered throughout the book it would have lifted it significantly, but alas no. I had to wade through 300 pages instead. Actually I don’t know how many pages there are in this book because it hasn’t got any fucking page numbers, why would it? FFS.
This book is frustrating, despite being an improvement on the first it’s still severely lacking in ‘content’ and still leaves far too much to the imagination. At one point the husband is told to get three golf balls, a new toothbrush and some mouthwash – presumably these form the basis of some perverse sex act – but we never find out what that is, because fuck you reader, you don’t need to know!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!
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