As of today, Mistress has had 40 orgasms since the start of our sixth year of 24/7/365 chastity (on April the 1st 2016). By contrast, I have had 7, which gives a standard ratio of 5.71 to 1, pretty much in line with the ratio of the last few years. The difference this time though is that of those 7 orgasms, 5 have been ruined. Which means that instead of 7 – 40, it’s actually 2 – 40, giving an easily calculated ratio of 20 to 1 in Mistress’s favour!
This is quite incredible really, given that it’s been a long term goal for me that Mistress should have 10 orgasms for every 1 that I am allowed. We haven’t so much surpassed that goal as annihilated it. Which is great! But still a huge surprise…
Of course the main reason for this is that Mistress has recently begun to embrace the ruined orgasm fully and as we can see above, it’s not so much that she has let me cum much less often, it’s just that the greater proportion of those orgasms have been ruined.
If you read my post the other day about the letter I wrote to Mistress R at 4am last weekend, you’ll know that I told her that I was willing to leave it fully up to her in future as to whether she was going to let me cum or not. Now, some of you may have thought that was an odd thing to say, because after all Mistress already decides when and how I cum and has done for the last five years and more.
This is true, but it seems unreasonable to expect that Mistress would push way beyond my current record of 62 days without at least some comment from me. The point of that part of my letter was to let her know that I am ready to be denied for as long as it pleases her to do so. If she wants to ruin every orgasm for the next year, the next three years, five years… whatever she wants is okay by me.
In truth, do I really think Mistress is going to jump from 62 days to permanent (or semi-permanent) denial – no, of course not. And I’m sure there’s some of you out there who are maybe chuckling to themselves and thinking ‘this guy has no idea what he’s talking about’. Also, fair enough – I don’t know what it’s like beyond a certain point. But I do know that I love being super horny and aching for my Mistress, and as such I felt it was right to tell her that if she wanted me to I would be happy to go a very long time without a proper orgasm.
Of course, I’ve read enough chastity blogs to know that the best laid plans of mice and men etc etc… and that’s why I wouldn’t really want Mistress to say that I am going to be denied for any fixed period of time. I wouldn’t want her to feel bound or constrained by some arbitrary ‘rule’ or ‘goal’ that she had set. I fully realise that there may come a day when she wants me inside her and in the moment, when I give her warning that I’m close, she might decide ‘screw the chastity’ because she wants me to cum inside her. And again I wouldn’t want her to lose that option. This is supposed to be about her pleasure, and if she wanted me to cum for her pleasure then that is her prerogative. Statistics and numbers are all well and good, but they should reflect reality and not dictate it, the last thing I would want would be for Mistress to make me wait 350 days to cum and then feel like she couldn’t exercise her power until we made it to a year.
That’s why we abandoned the ‘dice’ chastity early on. It has it’s uses in that in the early days it can be useful to take pressure off a new chastity Mistress, but ultimately ‘dice’ chastity isn’t empowering the Mistress at all, since she is following it’s ‘rules’ just as much as her slave is.
Anyway, like most guys in my position, I have come to feel VERY differently about proper orgasms than I once did. Sure I crave them, when Mistress is edging me I want to cum very, very badly… make no mistake, that primal urge does not go away. And my last proper orgasm (June 23rd) was absolutely amazing, shooting all over Mistress’s beautiful feet and licking them clean was AWESOME.
But with a clear head, if I was given the choice to stroke and cum on Mistress’s beautiful feet, or stroke and ruin on Mistress’s beautiful feet I would probably choose the second option. Of course the difficult bit is the ‘clear head’ bit, because when you are stroking your cock with one hand and holding your Mistress’s foot with the other there is no such thing as a clear head.
Which is why people like me need a Mistress to decide for us (and why some of us need locking up – for our own good!).
I still think about that from time to time, but then I remember how ridiculously badly my CB3000 fitted and how I could barely get my jeans on over it. It’s frustrating, because I love the idea of it and I’m sure it must be amazing to go to that level of control, but there you go. Besides, Mistress wasn’t overly keen on the idea, not that we’ve talked about it for a long, long time.
I still have my CB3000 in a drawer. Maybe I’ll give it another shot sometime.
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