I Am Obsessed With Mistress's Perfect Feet!

 After last night's fun Mistress and I decided to sleep separately because of the heat. We don't like doing this of course but we've come to realise that it gives us both a better chance of actually getting to sleep and not waking up insanely hot in the night. But of course, it also means that if I wake up 'alone' in the night with a throbbing cock then I am perhaps more likely to break the rules and touch it.

And so we come to this morning... I woke at 7AM to the sound of Mistress closing our front gate. Clearly she had got up early to get a walk in before it got any hotter (very smart) and I dozed off again until 7.25... then when I woke up again I was rock hard and foolishly gave in and curled my fingers around my cock. It felt so good, even though I know I will have to confess to Mistress later.

As I stroked my desperately hard cock I thought back to last night, about Mistress lifting her beautiful feet to my mouth and having me worship them and later how she unexpectedly slapped my balls through my shorts... that was so hot. The stuff fantasies are made of.

But really I cannot look past Mistress's gorgeous feet. When she puts them in my lap I immediately feel different. Needy. Submissive. Often light headed. Truth be told I am completely OBSESSED with Mistress's perfect feet and I wonder what she could convince me to do just by teasing me with them... or promising to let me cum on them*. Shudder.

(*Probably the ONLY thing I would EVER choose over worshipping Mistress's delicious ass honestly... and the flaw in my assertion that I would be happy if Mistress never let me have a proper orgasm again. So let me rephrase that and say I would be satisfied if I was only ever allowed to cum properly if it was on Mistress's perfect feet.)

I really shouldn't have to clarify this but when I say 'obsessed' I don't mean 'obsessed' like the morons shilling products on TikTok. No, I mean genuinely affected by and can't stop thinking about. I really hate how words are being degraded by incorrect use, over use and hyperbole!  

Anyway... I've been bad again so I guess I will be punished for it however Mistress pleases.

On the upside thinking about Mistress's gorgeous feet all day has given me an idea for yet another story... or maybe two!🤣

I Love It!

Last night Mistress and I had some more fun together. It was quite warm and we had the fan by the bed, and for some reason I had this feeling that after Mistress came on my tongue she was going to leave me locked up. But I was, thankfully, wrong. Mistress allowed me to choose which cock ring to use and I chose the basic Xact-fit ring (so damn easy to put on, but sometimes it does feel like it is coming off - maybe it is already stretching?).

We started to kiss and Mistress gently teased me until I was hard and then she slid down the bed and started using her mouth on me, which felt wonderful. And of course then she slid back up the bed and started kissing me again (so hot!) and stroking me hard until I edged. She paused for a moment and then started stroking me with two fingers which was soooooo frustrating, but of course I loved it.

At times she would barely be moving her hand and so I started rubbing my cock against her, desperately trying to get some stimulation. Then she was alternating between frustrating light strokes, stroking me harder and slapping my balls until finally she started stroking me fast until I could feel a second edge building... but then she stopped before I got there. Ugh!

I thought Mistress was done, but after a few moments she sat up next to me and gave me about four good balls slaps before telling me I was 'locked up' again. Afterwards we cuddled and I spent several minutes admiring her gorgeous, silky smooth legs.

Fast forward to this evening and Mistress and I were sitting on the sofa watching The Traitors India. Mistress likes to lay on the sofa with her feet in my lap, partly because it's comfortable and (I'm sure) partly because she knows what that does to me.

As we watched I rubbed her gorgeous feet and at one point she lifted her right foot up near my face so that I could kiss it. I supported her pretty foot and peppered it with kisses until she let it fall away and then she offered me her other foot. I got really, really hard while I was doing this but it wasn't until after she had taken her other foot away and thanked me for worshipping her that I thought about asking for permission to touch my cock.

The funny thing was that while we were watching the show I was thinking that after it had finished I would go and have my shower and when I came back down I was going to ask to worship her beautiful feet. Anyway... a little while later Mistress lifted her foot up again and I eagerly kissed the soft, smooth skin all over again until the show finished and Mistress got up off the sofa.

My cock was kinda hard, but not quite as rock hard as it had been the first time... but then Mistress stood in front of me and leaned over me. I reached up and caressed her gorgeous breasts through her T-shirt and then lifted her up with my legs so that she was kind of on top of me.

After a few more kisses she stood up and perhaps because I was now almost lying down on the sofa she suddenly slapped me between the legs several times (something she'd never done before; that kinda surprised me - but in a very good way!). 🙂 

Afterwards Mistress lay on the sofa next to me and kissed me some more until I finally asked if I could please touch my aching cock. Mistress seemed slightly surprised at my request, thought for a second and then said 'No'. Which of course is her right.

I must say it seems like our Femdom Session is having some really long-lasting, positive effects on us this week (we've been cuddling and kissing so much), and my assertion that I would like Mistress to be meaner certainly seems to be paying dividends! 

I LOVE IT!

--- --- ---

As you've probably noticed I posted a new story last night. This wasn't one of my many half-finished projects, it was one that I just blarted out onto the page a couple of days ago. I've also submitted it to Literotica and it looks likely to go live any time soon. So we'll see what reaction that brings...

I re-read some of those half-finished projects late last night and again I can't believe how complete some of them are. There's one I'm itching to finish but I'm in two minds about how to end it. There's a kind of obvious way to end it, or a cleverer way to end it. Maybe I should write both?  

Charli's Devotion (Written June 2026)

From the moment Elise returned from her run she could feel Charli’s eyes all over her, her sub stealing glances at her body from the sofa while she moved around the kitchen. Eventually Elise moved towards the girl, a tall glass of water in her hand and Charli deferentially looked down as she approached.

“Did you enjoy your run Goddess?” enquired Charli.

“I did, thank you… it was very hot though.”

Elise sank down onto a chair at right angles to where Charli was sitting and took a huge drink of water. She knew the girl was desperate to look at her, touch her and taste her.

“Are you wearing your plug as I instructed?” asked Elise.

“Yes Goddess.”

“And is it comfortable?”

“I’m getting used to it, it felt very big to start with…”

“Good girl.”

Elise waited a few seconds then drained the rest of her water from the glass.

“Is there anything you wish to ask me?”

Charli looked nervously across at the slightly older woman, her long smooth legs parted just enough to be suggestive.

“Please may I serve you Goddess?”

Elise smiled and pointed to the carpet in front of her and Charli quickly got up and knelt down between her amazing legs.

“You can’t help yourself can you? Even when I’m hot and sweaty and desperately need a shower you still want me don’t you?”

“Yes Goddess.”

Elise allowed her hand to fall between her legs, and gently started to rub herself while Charli watched breathlessly as the thin material of Elise’s running shorts moulded itself to the outline of her lips.

“Come closer,” Elise ordered.

Charli leaned forward and Elise pulled up the girl’s T-shirt to expose her small breasts. She pinched her nipples roughly several times until they were rock hard, leaving Charli panting with need.

“Are you excited about getting your nipples pierced at the weekend?”

“Yes Goddess,” moaned the girl.

“I’m sure it will be deliciously painful for you, but so worth it…”

Elise took the girl’s pink nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and pulled on them until Charli gasped loudly. Elise continued for a few seconds more and then abruptly let go.

“Show me your plug.”

Charli quickly turned away and leaned forward so that her face was pressed against the floor. Then she reached back, lifted up her short denim skirt and pulled her cheeks apart so that Elise could see the base of the plug buried between them.

Elise smiled and pressed a little harder between her legs. She loved how compliant Charli was and how her desire for her Goddess was never satisfied.

She leaned forward for a moment and gently wiggled the plug in Charli’s ass, eliciting a guttural moan from the girl.

“That’s really tight isn’t it?”

“Yes Goddess,” Charli breathed.

Elise gently caressed Charli’s ample ass, the girl was exactly the type she liked. Short, fleshy and super submissive. They’d been together for nearly two years now and Charli seemed just as infatuated with Elise as the day they met.

She allowed her fingers to move down between Charli’s legs and gently caress either side of her shaved pussy, bringing a louder moan from the prone girl before her.

After a few moments of very gentle teasing Elise sank back into her chair and lifted one leg over the arm.

“That’s enough,” she said and Charli obediently turned around to face her again.

“Tell me how badly you want to eat my pussy and make me cum,” Elise ordered.

Charli almost trembled as she spoke.

“Please Goddess, please allow me to worship your delicious pussy… you know your pleasure is everything to me and I want to make you cum so badly.”

Elise smiled down at her partner.

“It is isn’t it… you can barely think of anything else can you?”

Charli shook her head slowly before continuing “No Goddess.”

Elise slowly slipped her hand down the front of her shorts and gently parted her lips with her middle finger, feeling the warm, wet juices coating her digit before she pulled it free and brought it to her own lips.

“Tastes sooo good,” she purred as she looked directly into Charli’s eyes.

Charlie almost whimpered as Elise dropped her leg and leaned forward to kiss her sub on the lips, allowing her a first taste of her fragrant cunt.

“Please Goddess,” moaned Charli. “Please don’t tease me, I want you so badly.”

“I know you do… and I love how badly you want to please me.”

Elise said nothing more for a few moments, while Charli looked up at her with begging eyes, softly biting her lip.

“You know I’m going to fuck you later don’t you? I still haven’t decided which of your holes I’m going to use… but, since your ass will be nice and stretched, it seems a pity to waste it, doesn’t it?”

“Whatever pleases you Goddess,” answered Charli, oblivious to anything but the need to taste Elise and make her cum.

“Well, we’ll see later, but for now…”

Elise stood up and peeled her shorts and panties down to reveal her glistening pussy, then sank back onto the chair. She picked the garments off the floor and separated them, tossing the shorts aside before handing the delicate, sodden panties to the girl in front of her.

Charli eagerly took them and breathed in the intoxicating mixture of arousal tinged with sweat. Meanwhile Elise lifted her leg over the arm again and began teasing her pussy with her long, manicured fingers. Unlike Charli (who was expected to keep her pussy cleanly shaven, Elise merely kept her hair trimmed very short.

“You may touch your pussy,” said Elise. “But do not cum without permission, or you will be severely punished.”

“Thank you Goddess,” moaned Charli as her hand lifted the front of her skirt and her fingers moved between her legs once more.

Elise watched a while as the girl eagerly stroked her clit, while still clutching her panties to her nose.

“That’s enough,” ordered Elise after a few minutes.

Charli immediately pulled her hand away and let the front of her skirt drop back down.

“Ask me one more time.”

“Please may I worship your beautiful pussy Goddess?”

Elise looked down at the girl, toying with the idea of telling her to leave the room while she masturbated herself to orgasm. It wouldn’t be the first time and that was surely on Charli’s mind.

“You really want it don’t you?”

“Yes Goddess,” pleaded Charli.

“What if I told you that if I let you then I’m going to clamp your nipples while I fuck you. Do you still want to taste me and make me cum?”

“Yes Goddess,” Charli’s voice was almost a croak of desperation by now.

Elise dropped her hand between her legs and pushed a finger between her lips, coating it with her creamy juice. Then she lifted it to her mouth and sucked it clean, her eyes maintaining contact with Charli’s the whole time.

Then she leaned forward and Charli obediently opened her mouth, ready to receive her gift. Elise leaned closer still before forcibly spitting her musk into the younger girl’s mouth. Charli moaned in appreciation and then begged again to be allowed to serve.

Elise smiled cruelly, reached forward and pulled the girl’s head down between her open thighs.

“Make me cum now and take my thickest cock well and I may allow you the honour of worshipping my divine ass later.”

“Thank you Goddess,” moaned Charli breathlessly as her tongue darted out from between her lips to begin her task.

Femdom Session (13th June 2026)

Last night I went to bed before Mistress, but it was after midnight - we had watched the 1950 film 'House by the River' (which was very good) on YouTube - but Mistress stayed up until around 2AM. In the meantime I dozed and with our Femdom Session planned for this morning, well my mind did what my mind does.

I recall being awake(ish) shortly before Mistress came to bed and I was kind of visualizing us both in our session - Mistress standing in front of me, me on my knees, blindfolded*. I remember Mistress asking me if there was anything more I needed to confess to and me saying yes (I remember briefly touching my balls and maybe my cock while I was dozing) and then asking her if I could speak freely.

*I think the fact that I was blindfolded was quite significant as I think it would be easier to speak like this if I was blindfolded.

She said yes and... now this is annoying, because I can't remember half of the things I said, but I do remember two of them (I think there were four or five) and it started with me explaining what I meant by wanting her to be 'meaner' - you may remember last week I said in a post that I had wanted Mistress to be meaner, well more on that shortly.

Anyway, the other two things I remember saying to her were that I would love her to fuck me more often and not just in our Femdom sessions, and also that I didn't mind if she never granted me another full orgasm but that I would love it if she ruined me more frequently because I love being made to eat my cum and obviously if I don't cum very often then that doesn't happen much either.

I felt like I was awake, but I'm not entirely sure I was, really... it's all very vague and I don't think Mistress responded to the things I said (in this 'dream'... if indeed it was a dream?). But in the real world I remember hearing Mistress coming to bed and really hoping that she wasn't going to want to tease me because even though I wasn't really that hard, I felt like I might explode if she so much as touched me.

Thankfully (and I won't say that very often) Mistress got into bed and made no attempt to initiate teasing and I fell asleep fairly quickly afterwards. 

So this morning we both got up very late, around 10AM I think, maybe even a bit later and we finally started our session about 12:30. 

Oh, but before we get to that... following my post previously Mistress had asked for some clarity on what I meant by wanting her to be 'meaner'. I tried to explain, but it's quite difficult because it's not as simple as whipping me harder or digging her nails into my cock harder (though that's total valid and welcome) but what I was trying to get at was more nuanced than that... tone of voice, attitude, and being deliberately more 'self-centred'.

I'm pleased to say that Mistress pulled this off magnificently. My one huge regret for today was that I did not make an audio recording of our session because I would love to be able to quote directly some of the amazing things she said while I was down on my knees worshipping her beautiful feet. But it wasn't just what she said it was also the tone she used, it was absolutely perfect and it made it very hard for me to concentrate on the task at hand.

I do remember her idly suggesting that maybe one day we should have a session where all I did was worship different parts of her body, and in between she might take short breaks to slap my cock and balls. OMFG! So incredibly hot to hear that from her mouth. I just wish I could remember what else she said... I know she said something about teasing my cock until it was red raw, something about rubbing it with something rough and hard, but I don't remember exactly. She then said something about 'Cutting it off' which took me aback for a second, until I realised she meant 'stop teasing me' not, you know... 'cutting it off' for real! Or did she? Okay let's not dwell on that too much!

She also said something later about fucking me hard with her strap-on and making me kiss her cock afterwards..... uuuugh! So incredibly HOT!

But before that Mistress asked if I had anything to confess and I admitted that I thought I had touched my balls the night before and possibly also my cock. Mistress was not pleased at my lack of self control and began her regular punishment using the whip and the paddle. When she got to about fourteen strokes she paused momentarily and I thought she had finished but then she said 'Now we need to address last night's touching' and she gave me another eight with the hard side of the paddle.

She told me to kneel back up and then she reached down and took hold of my cock with her left hand, I'm not sure if she was stroking it or just holding it but then she started hitting my balls (which were trapped inside the Oxballs Cocksling with the built in ball-stretcher and so very tight) with the paddle. 

Admittedly she wasn't hitting them hard and I suspect she was using the felt side to start with, but the dull thud against my balls felt amazing. Funnily enough using the paddle on my balls was something I was planning to suggest to Mistress but it was so hot that she did it without prompting from me. Just one more awesome thing about today's session.

Then Mistress had me turn towards the bed and she lay down and had me worship her beautiful feet (although I couldn't see them because I was blindfolded). Mistress talked to me as she played with her glass dildo, occasionally stopping to have me suck it and taste her delicious juices off it. This was when she really started to give me the 'mean' vibe and it was incredibly hot hearing her talk this way. One thing I distinctly remember her saying was something like 'oh well, it doesn't matter what you think, it's all about what I think and what pleases me isn't it?' or something like that.

I so loved hearing that, and especially the way she said it... like she really believed it and it wasn't just something she was saying. I genuinely LOVED hearing her say that.

Once she was satisfied she tied me to the bed and immediately sank down on my face. Her pussy was so wet and it tasted absolutely amazing. Clearly, I thought, this is a sign that Mistress enjoys being meaner too, because her pussy is really, really creamy right now.

Mistress straddled my face several times, and every time her pussy got wetter and wetter. I was absolutely loving it, there's something so special about having your beautiful Mistress straddling your head and planting her pussy right over your mouth - I wish she did that between sessions too. :)

Eventually Mistress removed the blindfold and as I looked up she stood over me looking absolutely incredible. She was wearing a leather skirt and her cupless bra which looks amazing, especially from below! God Mistress's breasts are so gorgeous.

She taunted me with her ass several times, sinking right down onto my face, but I knew she wouldn't allow me to lick her gorgeous ass yet. Inbetween times she knelt beside me, stroking, slapping and whipping my cock and balls. And later she grabbed the paddle and hit my balls (and cock) with it again - which felt amazing. Mistress also dug her nails into my cock pretty hard too, definitely harder than she has before I think.

Time must have gone really quickly because then next thing I knew Mistress was applying pegs to my nipples, both of which were quite painful right off the bat. Living up to her part Mistress removed the right one and re-applied it making me wince a second time before she left me alone, my cock still throbbing for at least a couple of minutes.

Sometimes in the past I have become so relaxed during this break that I almost completely forget that my nipples are pegged, but not so today. They hurt the whole time Mistress was out of the room and when she re-appeared her skirt was gone, but she still hard the cupless leather bra on. She looked so incredibly sexy, especially with that smirk she had on her face knowing that she was about to take those pegs off and cause me a lot of pain.

She made me beg her to remove the first peg and smiled broadly when I hissed and writhed as the pain coursed through me. Then she made me beg again for her to remove the second peg. Making sure to do it before I could grit my teeth for maximum discomfort and smiling with pleasure as I writhed beneath her a second time - I love this new meaner Mistress sooo very much.

Now it was time for me to worship her pussy and make her cum, which was wonderful and she tasted so fucking amazing. After I had cleaned Mistress's pussy and licked up her juices from our PVC sheet, she had me put the Oxballs back on (I had asked to take it off before I made her cum because my balls were starting to burn and I really needed a break).

Then she stood over me, facing away, and started stroking my cock and digging her nails in again, while she made me beg for the privilege of worshipping her delicious ass. She said that she thought I would agree to just about anything right now and she was so right, I would have done just about anything to taste her.

As Mistress hadn't restrained me this time I asked for permission to touch her. She agreed and slid my hands up the back of her amazing legs to her ass. I gently parted her cheeks so that I could see her sexy asshole while Mistress continued stroking and hurting my cock in equal measure.

Mistress allowed me to worship her asshole twice before she moved off and knelt beside me. My cock was so hard now and she leant forward and had me suck on her nipples before stroking me harder, her nails also digging in. She paused now and again to strike my balls until eventually I warned her that I was getting close.

I thought she would let go, but she kept stroking and said 'If you really are close then come on..', she stroked me a few times more and then as I started to cum she relaxed her hand and then removed it completely. As I looked down at my, red, angry cock she dragged her nails up and down the sides, causing me more pain as my poor cock leaked onto my stomach.

Honestly it was one of the best ruined orgasms I've ever had. And once I stopped cumming Mistress fed me my cum from her fingers, which just topped the whole session off nicely. It was so, so good. And Mistress was just incredible today, I am so unbelievably lucky to have such an amazing wife and Mistress. 

Later I asked her if she was happy being 'meaner' to me. I mean, her pussy was soaked so clearly she was enjoying it, but I still wanted to ask her to make sure, because I didn't want her to feel like she had to act this way for me if she wasn't comfortable with it. She said she was happy doing it as long as she could act as she felt, so I guess if she wasn't feeling 'mean' she could act as she wanted to in future.

But honestly I think Mistress totally has this in her, I think maybe she is worried to really let her mean side out, perhaps she is afraid to hurt me. But I could not believe the difference in her and how naturally it came to her. Her tone of voice was so incredibly sexy and hot to me, and the things she said, particularly when I was worshipping her beautiful feet were making my head spin.

After we finished our session and held each other close for a while, Mistress got out of bed and commented that she never even got round to using her strap-on. Normally I would be disappointed, because I do love it when Mistress fucks my ass, but today was so amazing that it really didn't matter. 

Later we finally got round to reviewing our contract, and decided that in future we would do it after our sessions, because we are in the perfect head space to do it. We made a couple of tweeks, including provision for me to ask for certain toys to be used between sessions. For example, the inflatable butt plug, which I bought sometime last year and hasn't been used yet, and also my glass dildo.

What an amazing afternoon that was. Thank you Mistress, you are truly incredible and I love you more every day.

Second Punishment This Week!

Mistress hadn't read my previous post (the one about my sleepless night), so she was surprised to find her 'Book of Corrections' out on the bed again, just two days after she previously disciplined me for touching my cock without her permission. 

I briefly explained that I had touched my cock at 4AM for a very short time and Mistress gave me about fifteen strokes with the whip and the paddle. After that she had me worship her gorgeous pussy until she came and then she had me kiss her feet for a few minutes, which I absolutely love...

Afterwards, I asked Mistress for permission to be 'unlocked', which she granted, and then told me to put on my Oxballs Cocksling, the one with the built in ball stretcher. I guess she wanted to see my balls properly stretched and red tonight...

I quickly fitted it and as we started to kiss she played with my cock and balls until I was hard. Then she grabbed some lube and started stroking me, before giving me several strokes to the balls with her cock whip - it stings a little but I love it!  

Mistress continued teasing and whipping my cock and balls, occasionally using her nails to torment me further (which I also love) before addressing the fact that we are having our next Femdom Session on Sunday. She teased me about me always wanting to worship her asshole, and how maybe if I'm lucky I will be allowed to. 

Eventually she knelt up beside me looking absolutely magnificent as she stroked my cock hard and fast, pushing me slowly towards the edge. It felt amazing, but soon I was getting close and I didn't want to spill my 40 day load without permission, so I warned her in good time.

Mistress let go of my cock and I looked down to see how red and throbbing it was, it looked so fucking hot seeing it so 'angry' and I kissed Mistress deeply hoping she would continue a little more. Mistress didn't touch my cock again but she dragged her long nails across my balls several times which felt amazing. 

I can't wait until Sunday, I so desperately want to worship her delicious asshole again.. I just can't ever get enough.

MISTRESS R's TOTAL ORGASMS SINCE 1st APRIL 2011 (1664)

CHASTITY YEAR #16 (23 ORGASMS 1642-1664)
APR 2026 -8, 12, 14, 22, 25, 26, 28. 30 (8)

MAY 2026 - 3, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 22, 24, 25, 27, 31 (11)

JUN 2026 - 3, 4, 8, 10,

 
ROBERT ANTHONY's TOTAL FULL ORGASMS SINCE APRIL 1ST 2011 (178-179)

CHASTITY YEAR #16 (2 ORGASMS 178-179)

APR 2026 - 19 (1) (Handjob in Hotel, POT, no cum eating)
APR 2026 – 30 (1) (Cum after ruin, cum fed to me from Mistress’s fingers)
 

ROBERT ANTHONY's TOTAL RUINED ORGASMS SINCE APRIL 1ST 2011 (96)

 
CHASTITY YEAR #16 (1 RUINED ORGASM 96-)
APR 2026 – 30 (1)

An (Almost) Sleepless Night

Last night Mistress went to bed way before me, before 11 I think... and it was my firm intention to go to bed before midnight too (I've had a lot of late nights this last fortnight and I could do with a good night's sleep). I finished up a blog post I was writing for a non-sex related blog I write and then somehow stumbled across a forgotten bookmark to a website called 'Heavy Fetish' which has literally dozens of great 'Femdom Empire' clips that I had completely forgotten about. 

I won't post the link here because I will probably fall foul of the Blogger bots again, just go to heavyfetish.com and search Femdom Empire. A veritable treasure trove of quality Femdom content awaits!

After watching a couple of those (and no I didn't touch my cock - but don't feel too proud of me yet) I was feeling very inspired to write and set about sketching out yet another story. As you probably know if you are a bit of a night owl, after midnight time goes insanely quickly and every time I looked at the clock it was half an hour later, until finally at 1:30AM I decided that I really needed to go to bed (even though I wasn't feeling at all tired).

I laid in bed for half an hour, struggling to sleep or get comfortable... my shoulder/arm was feeling very odd, I think I may have a slightly pinched nerve or something because my shoulder feels like a jumble of bones and my arm feels a bit numb too, so that wasn't helping and at 2AM I decided it would be best if I went in the spare room as I didn't want my fidgeting to wake Mistress R.

At first I thought I might fall asleep straight away, but instead I lay awake for another hour with the story (and the clips) buzzing around my head... and also our contract, which is very overdue for review. I actually took it downstairs last night with a view to asking Mistress if we could look at it, but she was very tired and the last thing I wanted was to do it when she wasn't fully focussed on it.

Predictably, as I lay there neither fully awake or properly asleep for the next HOUR my cock hardened and softened depending on what I was thinking about, but still I resisted the strong temptation to touch it. And finally at about 3AM I fell asleep... for all of 45m, and when I woke up I was immediately wide awake with my head full of overwhelming thoughts of Femdom, Mistress and our contract.

As I lay there, my head absolutely swirling, one thought formed in my head that quietened all the others: I wish Mistress was 'meaner' to me and my punishments were more of a deterrent. 

Just typing that, my head is spinning again and my heart is beating faster. 

And as I lay there, at 4AM, my hand was drawn to my cock which was so ridiculously hard I honestly thought I could cum without even touching it. After a few VERY gentle strokes I removed my hand, not through fear of being punished for touching myself, but because I was genuinely worried I might actually cum VERY VERY suddenly and I did not want to have to explain that to Mistress in the morning. 

I can't really explain how I felt in that moment, but it's something I probably haven't felt since the last time I was heavily writing (about nine months ago). It seems like when I'm not writing I unconsciously supress a lot of this stuff until it eventually bubbles back to the surface, but this time it doesn't seem to have bubbled to the surface so much as exploded like a volcano. Truthfully I don't usually find myself in this state until I have written MANY stories and actually this is usually what curtails my productivity, because eventually it becomes too much. Because when I am writing story after story it's a constant background hum in my head that eventually creates a disconnect between what I write and what I can reasonably expect in real life.

Now, I'm not stupid, I know the difference between fantasy and reality... so it's not so much 'dissatisfaction' with reality vs fantasy, it's more a nagging frustration that I feel like I don't do a good enough job of convincing Mistress how amazing she really is and how much I worship her amazing body... because in my stupid submissive male head I imagine how she might act differently if she saw herself the way I see her (...yes, I know. Get a grip!). 

But still, I wish I could adequately explain exactly how I feel when she allows me to worship her gorgeous ass, when I make her cum really hard, or even when she allows me to kiss her beautiful feet. I just want to make her feel like the absolute Goddess she truly is... 

Sigh.

I'm not sure if continuing to write will provide a 'release' of sorts, or if it will just intensify this already very intense feeling...? The masochist in me hopes it's the latter, but I don't think I can take feeling this way for too long without it driving me round the twist... 

Sometimes I genuinely wish I was a bit less weird, life would be so much simpler.

But then again I absolutely love that Mistress now has at least ten orgasms for every one that she allows me, although to be honest I would be more than happy if I never had a 'proper' orgasm again and Mistress kept me in a constant state of intense frustration and need. 

I love that her orgasms are the most important thing and I love that she allows me to help her enjoy them. 

Of course I absolutely adore it when Mistress teases me, but if Mistress ever asked me to choose between being teased and being allowed to worship her ass I KNOW I would choose the later. 

Tried the Oxballs Squeeze

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Thank God it's Friday!

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