Taking My Reward!

I still had one weight loss reward left, because while I did choose the crop the other night, it was so cold in our bedroom that we abandoned the idea! So tonight I chose something different altogether. After Mistress had had her orgasm on my tongue, I fitted the cock ring and handed her a pair of exfoliation gloves we've had for a good few years now, but rarely used.

Mistress has used these gloves in our Femdom sessions now and again, but usually only briefly. This was different. Mistress put them on and got my cock hard, then started stroking while we kissed. It's not like these things are super-rough, but the longer it goes on the more you notice it and the harder I got the harder Mistress squeezed.

I love watching Mistress's face when she's teasing me, she looks so gorgeous and the joyful look that comes across when she slaps my balls and I jerk up from the bed is priceless! She had this amused smile on her face as she stroked me hard with the gloves... it suddenly felt very intense and she asked if I wanted to stop. I said no and she continued, taking me to the edge with the gloves on.

Mistress teased my rock hard cock with the gloves a little and then removed them and gently teased my length with her soft, cool hands. When my cock is really throbbing, it feels amazing when she just touches it so lightly, I can't think of a better way for her to make me ruin (or cum) than getting my cock really hard like that and then giving me the loosest, lightest handjob possible... that would be Heaven!
:)

But not this time. Mistress let me ruin a few days ago so that was never going to be on the cards... and it's Tuesday again tomorrow. Hopefully I will lose at least a pound and get to play with Mistress's glass dildo again!

Milovana News...

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A New Story, A New Blog, Another Pound Gone!

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Chastity isn't Always as Simple as It Looks from the Outside.

Over at 'I'm Hers' blog, there's a post discussing the problems that can arise during PIV sex with a chaste man. The thrust of the post was a request for advice from a woman who was slightly frustrated with her husband's inability to hold back until she was satisfied, I'm sure you've all seen similar posts before and the answers were as unsatisfactory as they were predictable (including my own comment I hasten to add!).

It is a problem though, and perhaps one that people don't really think about 'before' entering into the chastity lifestyle. There are some (perhaps younger) people who do seem able to cope with this reasonably well, but for the majority of examples I've come across, it's usually the case that any male who has been denied for any length of time will find penetrative sex difficult.

There are things you can do to make it better, the simplest and probably most practical is simply for the woman to go on top. I know from my own experience that this works pretty well as I can last much longer on my back then I can on top (assuming I can get hard in the first place of course), and realistically the problem with being on top for a guy is that it's hard to break the desire to go faster and harder, and that's a one way ticket to the edge.

This is probably harder on those couples who have got used to the idea that the woman orgasms from penetration during their sex life before chastity, whereas for those of us like Mistress R and I, this was never the case anyway... but that doesn't mean it's not mentally troubling for the chaste male. In fact it's not that much different from ED, since one way or another it represents a 'failure to perform' as required.

All bar one of Mistress's orgasms over the last eight years have been facilitated by my tongue, and actually it goes back way before even that. As a matter of fact I've never experienced a woman cumming with my cock inside her, but then I've only had sex with two women and one of those barely even counts. No really, it really barely even counted... but that's ancient history.

One of the things that appealed to me about chastity when I first came across it was that it offered a long term solution to a problem that many men face as they get older and a way to ensure (hopefully) that 'sex' continued even when/if I became incapable. The way I see it, sex is a pretty important part of our relationship. We've never had children* and we've barely ever gone more than about ten days without sex of some kind, and certainly not in the last fifteen years.

*I mention this only because it seems a given that childbirth is the number one cause of disruption to a regular sex life!

Even then, if we go more than a week we start to feel disconnected. So I was excited to explore any option that prolonged our closeness, especially since I have to contend with periods of numbness from my back operation which can make getting and staying hard difficult. Incidentally, this is where my scepticism about the use of numbing creams comes in... I get the theory, but I have my doubts that once numbed it would be that easy to get hard. I guess you could use a cock ring and a pump though, that would probably work...?

So I know that Mistress doesn't 'need' my cock to achieve satisfaction, and she's not seemingly overly concerned with penetration - in the past she told me it was something she does for me. And I am totally focused on her pleasure, believe me. But that doesn't mitigate the frustration I feel when I have 'problems'. And (to a lesser degree) I had those same frustrations when I was on top and struggling to hold back, and I wasn't even trying to hold back long enough to make my Mistress cum!

The point I'm trying to make is that there's more to this chastity business than simply accepting that 'she' decides when you get to cum. Sometimes it can feel like you've just swapped one set of problems for another and it's unrealistic to expect that you can live like this for years without having periods where you question your decision. For me this happens now and again, sometimes it's because we aren't having our Femdom sessions regularly enough and I feel that to me this is a package deal. To me chastity is an extension of Femdom. Right at the start Mistress and I agreed that we didn't want a 24/7/365 Femdom lifestyle, well... to be honest in my enthusiastic naivety I may have hoped for that, but realistically I wouldn't have liked it because it wouldn't have been what I imagined it was. And with the benefit of hindsight I can see that would have to be something that both parties were 100% behind.

Regardless, to me chastity is a continuation of 'control' and gives me that feeling of submission I crave without burdening Mistress with the need to 'dominate' me constantly. The problem is that this only takes things so far and the sessions are a way to top me up (if you get my drift). When the sessions stop happening (which is often my fault it must be said) chastity on it's own can seem an inadequate substitute and that's usually when I start to question if I want it to continue on indefinitely.

That's what I meant the other day when I said the session had drawn a line under some negative thoughts I'd been having, it's just taken me a while to get this down because my thought process wasn't (and isn't) fully formed. This isn't something I think about logically I hasten to add, it's taken me a week or more to get it this structured and even now it doesn't seem entirely accurate... I'm just trying to make sense of the way I feel sometimes...

The bottom line is, I want my Mistress to be happy. I want her to feel content and satisfied in every way that I can. I love being able to make her cum with my tongue, not least because I never have to worry about that, it works, every time, my tongue has never failed to function as required. I wish I could say the same about my cock, but I can't... and it really bums me out sometimes, not least because I don't want my Mistress to feel that it's anything to do with her.

One thing I really love is watching Mistress masturbate, it's something I rarely get to see, it's almost always in our Femdom sessions when she uses her glass dildo on herself. Indeed Mistress has put it on my list of weight loss treats, and when I get to that point I will definitely be choosing that and probably more than once. But I'm pretty sure that unless Mistress allows me to touch my cock while I am watching her, I may not get hard, and even if I do it probably won't stay hard without being touched. When I was younger it may have been a different story, but it doesn't reflect on her or how I feel about watching her pleasure herself.

I feel like I'm rambling now, and largely without an over arching point... so to bring it back to what I was saying in the first place, chastity can be a very positive choice, but it has it's own problems and dilemmas too, and one of those is that you kind of need to accept that by taking the chastity route, you are swapping one kind of sex life for another, one that is focussed on the woman's pleasure yes, but one which requires an adjustment of expectations also.

I kind of feel like this post is incomplete and the truth is it's very late and I'm very tired, but I wanted to get something down... I hope it makes some sort of sense in the morning!

FEMDOM SESSION: 13th January 2019

Last year we managed a paltry four Femdom Sessions, which was even worse than the year before when we only managed six (actually I thought it was an improvement on three until I checked back, bah!). So I'm pleased that we've started 2019 on the right foot and we've gotten a session under our belts before the end of January, all we have to do now is keep the momentum going!

Mistress instructed me to wear my basic rubber cock ring at the start of the session and then left the rest up to me to choose. So along with my arm and leg cuffs I put on the rubber blindfold and pushed the ring ended dildo into my ass. I don’t think I had anything in my ass the whole of last year, so I was kind of determined that I would start this year right.

When Mistress came into the bedroom she started rubbing her foot against my cock and balls as she asked me if I had anything to confess since our last session. I told her that I had touched my cock 3-4 times since and she reminded me that I also had my unauthorised ‘ruin’ to atone for. I must admit I had forgotten about that, but I would soon be reminded!

Mistress had me move forward onto my hands and knees and gave me fifteen strokes with the cat, before telling me that this was only for the touching and that I still had more punishment to come. She then picked up the paddle and gave me twelve strokes with that by which time I was struggling a bit and Mistress allowed me to take a break.

She had me kneel back up and she asked me if I had given any thought to what she might be wearing? She said that if I could guess what top she was wearing she might consider reducing my punishment, and also said that she would give me a clue. She moved behind me and rubbed herself against my back, but it didn’t really help to be honest.

I guessed that she was wearing my favourite PVC top with no cups and straps to the shoulders. Mistress said that was wrong and granted me one more chance. My mind was completely blank and the only thing I could think was that she was wearing a normal bra. This was also wrong and so my punishment continued until she had given me twenty-one strokes with the paddle before she allowed me another break. I can’t actually remember what happened just then, but Mistress soon had me down again for the final five strokes, which then became six because Mistress ‘didn’t like to finish on an even number’.

After that she turned me towards the bed and soon enough she was pushing her glass dildo into my mouth and telling me to ‘get it wet’ for her. As I worshipped her beautiful feet Mistress lay back on the bed, teasing her pussy with the dildo while she teased me that if I hadn’t chosen to wear the blindfold I would be able to watch. Well, we all know that isn’t true… but anyway.

After a while Mistress had me suck her juices off the dildo and told me to worship her other foot. I felt really content doing this, and it really reminded me and confirmed that to me Mistress’s pleasure and satisfaction is everything. I would have happily worshipped her feet until she had made herself cum if she’d wanted me to, and really this session really drew a line under a lot of negative feelings I’ve been having lately and made me feel very committed again to my submission to my beautiful Mistress. I am going to post about all that another day, but for now I want to concentrate on the session.

As Mistress lay there, toying her pussy, she teased me about how badly I wanted to taste her and how much I love worshipping her feet. She said that I would love it if she made me put all her sexy shoes on her feet one after the other and kissed her feet inbetween. She also teased me about making me ‘fasten’ her shoes while we were out in public and how if I knew she wasn’t wearing any panties I’d be desperate to look up her skirt to get a look at her gorgeous pussy. Then she said that maybe when we’re out she should slip her shoes off under the table and use her feet to squeeze my cock and balls through my jeans… knowing that we usually sit at a secluded table in our local pub, this was all very hot for me and I would really love it if she did go out without her panties on and do something like really quickly let me kiss her pussy in the car park on our way back to the car. Mmmmmmmm!

Mistress also said that when she was wearing her sexiest shoes she might just have to use them to crush my cock and balls, actually she said 'lightly' crush my cock and balls but I ignored that because it's hotter my way. :)

Mistress had me clean her dildo again and then had me up on the bed and onto my back. She secured me to the bed and then stood over me before asking if I wanted to see what top she was actually wearing. She told me to close my eyes and then removed the rubber blindfold, before allowing me to open my eyes and look up at her. She looked amazing, and she was wearing a cupless leather(?) bra that I barely remembered she had. It looked awesome though…. J

Mistress had me suck on her dildo again before she slid it back inside her gorgeous pussy, she really did look incredible… especially her gorgeous, smooth thighs – which seems an odd thing to notice given the situation, but I really do love Mistress’s very sexy legs.

Mistress put the dildo aside and sank down onto my face, allowing me my first ‘proper’ taste of her delicious pussy. Then she turned around and grabbed the cock whip before using it to tease my hardening cock. I love it when Mistress stands over me like that and she knows it all to well.

“I bet you wish your hands weren’t tied right now don’t you slave?” She teased.

I wanted nothing more in that moment than to reach up and part Mistress’s cheeks so that I could properly see her perfect asshole. Thankfully Mistress obliged and reached back to show me what she knows I crave. Soon Mistress sank down onto my cock for a few strokes, which felt really good and then she was back facing me and sinking down onto my face again.

Mistress teased me about how much I love the taste of her pussy, especially when I’ve had my cock inside her… and then asked if I would still love it if it tasted of another man’s cock? I told her I would always love the taste of her pussy and that I would lick it every day if she wanted me to. And that is no empty promise…

Mistress moved down beside me and started teasing my cock with her tongue. It felt amazing, even though she was just barely touching it with the tip of her tongue, but she was flicking just under the head in that really sensitive spot. She moved between my legs and told me to watch her as she continued to tease my cock, then she slid her hands either side of my balls and squeezed them slightly (although not quite the way we practised the other day I don't think), which was surprisingly intense. I think a lot depends on how full (and consequently how sensitive) my hyperseal is... 

Then Mistress started sucking and stroking me harder until eventually she stood over me again (facing away) and slid her glass dildo into her soaking wet pussy. She sank down onto my cock again and then had me lick her pussy one more time before laying next to me and rubbing my balls with her foot as she stroked me. I didn’t know whether to look at her foot rubbing my cock and balls or at her gorgeous breasts which were just inches from my face, and Mistress teased me about that as well…

Mistress stroked my cock some more, while at the same time using the ring end of the dildo to slide it in and out of me a bit, then she decided it was time to leave me alone for a few minutes. She got off the bed and walked around to my side to retrieve the pegs from the bedside table. She quickly snapped them onto my nipples and then bent forward to let me suck her gorgeous, sexy nipples and then left me alone.

When she returned I had softened considerably and one of my balls had come out of the cock ring, I told Mistress and after she had removed the pegs and untied my arms and legs she told me to take it off. I thought Mistress would want me to worship her pussy properly then, but instead she told me to get on my hands and knees. For a moment I thought I was going to get even more punishment, and then I remembered that I still had the dildo in my ass!

Mistress told me it was time to have something bigger inside me and I thought she was about to slide into the RodeoH strap-on panties, but instead she grabbed my glass dildo (which is identical to hers actually) and lubed it up a little before pushing it into my asshole. It felt very intense, probably because it’s been so long since I’ve had anything in my ass, but I was surprised how big it felt considering I’d had the other didlo inside me for over forty minutes at this point. Actually the first couple of inches felt really good, but deeper inside it was a bit much (probably because the ring-end dildo is tapered so it had only really stretched the first couple of inches properly I guess). It wasn’t ‘painful’ as such and I took it, but I really knew it was there if you know what I mean! But like I said, the first couple of inches felt really good…

Then it was finally time for me to worship Mistress’s pussy and of course I loved absolutely every single second of that. Mistress was very turned on (probably all that spanking at the start…) and she had a really hard orgasm on my tongue while my index finger teased her tight little asshole. While she caught her breath I licked her juices off my fingers and then once she’d got off the bed I licked the PVC sheet clean as well. Yum!

Then she ordered me onto my back again, but this time she didn’t tie my hands and legs. She stood over me once more and told me that she was very pleased with me and that she was going to allow me to beg to worship her ass. My begging was successful and Mistress stroked my cock hard as I tongued her delicious asshole. Mistress allowed me to tongue her ass three times but amazingly she didn’t manage to edge me, so after the third time she knelt beside me and pumped my cock while I reached up and caressed her gorgeous breasts until I finally did reach the edge and then she told me that was the end of the session.

Wow, what an amazing start to 2019!

UK Citizens: The Government has Passed the Law on Pornsite Access..

According to the Daily Mail, the law requiring age verification to access porn sites in the UK has passed through parliament. But as always, the details are sketchy at best. Apparently by April any site that is more than 1/3rd pornographic will be required to verify it's visitor's age presumably by use of a bank card. I don't know if this applies to my blog and similar sites, I presume when they say pornographic they mean photos and videos. If so then it will be okay, because I don't host any videos and if you follow links to videos on third party sites it will be up to them to check your ID.

But I can't help thinking this is a very dubious way forward. It seems insane to me that the websites are to be responsible for setting up age verification and holding your card details. Is it really a good idea to give your card details to porn sites run by, well, who knows who runs them?

My guess is that this law will be tweaked somehow to apply only to the larger websites like Pornhub and X-Hamster, in the meantime I suggest creating an account with those two websites and downloading all your favourite videos, and then perhaps getting yourself a credit card or possibly a bank card that you can 'lock' specifically for the purpose of accessing porn.

I presume websites like Literotica won't be affected, although I think they do have videos and pictures on there as well as the stories. I accept that something needs to be done to stop children accessing porn, and I don't have a better solution, but I think this is going to cause problems. It would be much better if the government offered some kind of pass system, so that we can be sure we're not giving our card details to some potentially very 'dodgy' people...

An Accidental Ruin Already!

You know, I'd get a lot more done if I didn't have to contend with my ridiculously cute black fluffy cat trying to sit between me and my laptop every time I get it out...!

But you didn't come here to read about a problematic pussy (or maybe you did...) so moving on, after our busy day yesterday Mistress and I have had a relatively lazy day at home today (bar a few jobs that needed doing) and after dinner we retired to the bedroom where I licked Mistress's delicious pussy until she had a very hard orgasm. :)

After I had worshipped her pretty feet for a while, we lay down together and she started kissing me and teasing my cock. After a little while I was pretty hard and Mistress got up on her knees and started sucking my cock, and then, finally, after I don't know how long but it's been MONTHS, she straddled me and started to guide my cock towards her pussy.

If you've been reading my blog regularly you must surely have noticed that I have not mentioned being inside Mistress for a long, long time... indeed I was recently wondering if she was ever going to want me inside her again, seriously - I don't think it's ever been this long (actually it was October, but it feels like forever).

As she positioned herself over my cock, I immediately wanted to lick her pussy before she slid down onto me, but I hesitated and before I could speak Mistress had pushed down onto my cock. I could tell as soon as she did it that I should have licked her first, but it was too late and I was worried that I might lose it if I asked her then... we both enjoyed it, but if Mistress had let me lick her again first then it might have been a bit 'smoother' and I probably would have stayed harder, since as it was it was tight but there wasn't too much 'movement' which doesn't work great for me (but actually seems to work better for her).

As much as I wanted to ask Mistress to remove her bra, since this was the first time I'd been inside her for so long I thought was a dangerous route so decided not to go there this time for fear of edging too quickly if I was allowed to look at her gorgeous breasts as she ground her pussy against my cock (actually that's kind of a good description of what it felt like, definitely more like that than 'sliding' in and out anyway).

When Mistress slid off me she turned and started stroking my slightly wilting cock and I perked up a bit, and was soon nearing the edge. I warned Mistress but she continued stroking a while longer... as it turned out just a stroke or two too many and I had an unauthorised ruined orgasm.

Oh dear... and we've got a Femdom session coming up as well, so I can expect to be punished for that!

It was lovely to finally be inside Mistress again, even if it didn't quite work out perfectly. I know Mistress probably doesn't want to try penetration unless she is sure I am hard enough, and unfortunately she seems to find it uncomfortable if I am wearing a cock ring. I guess I just have to keep on with the dieting and hope that once I get to a certain point things will improve like they did last time. At least my tongue is still in good shape, so I can keep my beautiful Mistress happy! :)

A Fun Day in London!

Well I hope you guys have all got 2019 off to a great start? It's been a bit of a tough week, getting back into the swing of getting up and going to work. I don't care for it, but it's gotta be done. Mistress and I had a really fun day in London today... I always find that January is such a shit month, so as it happened I had a need to visit London suddenly and we made a day of it. It was a bit chilly but not too bad and we had a lovely time and visited our favourite restaurant and had fun looking at some seriously crazy watches in Harrods (I actually tried one on that cost more than our house!). We were glad to get home though, and get a shower! London is great but after a few hours there you really feel quite grubby.

So, as I said the other day, I rather predictably put on 1.5lbs over Christmas, so I haven't been in a position to choose a toy to play with this week. But I did have my second '1 Stone' reward to take, and despite initially thinking that maybe I should wait until I lost that stone again, as it transpired I couldn't really resist once Mistress started stroking my cock and I started thinking about worshipping her gorgeous ass.

That's right, I had two bites of the cherry there, but since Mistress said I could choose the same thing twice if I wanted to then it's all good. And let's face it, it's going to be a few weeks until I get to 1.1/2 Stones and my next set of rewards...

- - -

Well, I didn't write one single original story during 2018, but I did transcribe quite a few old stories for Literotica. I've currently got three that have just popped up on Literotica (and one still pending), nothing to do with chastity or Femdom, and (as someone has already helpfully pointed out) not my best work, but still they are scoring mid 4s so not too bad (actually one of them is at 4.62 and is rated 'HOT'). If you are interested you can find them on my 'Malibuman666' Literotica page (link at the bottom of the page).

- - -

I've also been nominated for Milovana's tease of the month for December, and surprise surprise I took a tremendous early lead in the voting, but now another tease is neck and neck with mine. Again. This happens every single time, I mean Every. Single. Time. I should rise above it I know, but it kinda stinks somehow...

Finishing 2018 In Style...

New Years Eve I woke up feeling kinda sick, and in fact I ended up going back to bed for a couple of hours in the afternoon... as often happens in these situations, feeling warm, cosy, relaxed and dozy, I seemed to spend those two hours quite 'hard'... which made what followed slightly frustrating.

Later on I felt a bit better and Mistress and I decided to add another orgasm to her 2018 total before we went to a New Year's Eve gathering we'd been unexpectedly invited to. Mistress had a lovely orgasm and then started teasing me. Pretty quickly I felt like I could quite easily edge and so I definitely didn't want to ask to worship Mistress's ass for fear that it could be a very short reward indeed!

Mistress kept teasing me and (annoyingly given that I'd seemingly been rock hard most of the afternoon) even though I was edging quicker than I'd like, I could feel my cock wasn't as hard as it could be. I warned Mistress that I was getting close, fully expecting her to let go, but instead she decided to bring my chastity period to an end at 71 days with a very violent orgasm. After I'd finished cumming (truthfully it was verging on P.O.T. such was the intensity - as I often find with orgasms after long periods of chastity) she had me lick the cum off of her hand and then we curled up together for a little while.

---

Today was my next weigh in and, as expected I did gain weight over Christmas. This wasn't a surprise, I took the view that as long as I put on less than I lost on Christmas Eve then that would be a tactical victory (being that with Christmas and New Year out of the way and January being impossibly dull as a rule) I should be in a good position going forward. So I put on 1.5lbs, which should be easy to remedy next week and all I need to do is lose 2lbs and I will get to choose a toy again. All in all I'm more than pleased with a 1.5lb gain over Christmas, I must admit I was expecting worse!

Happy New Year!