This is Getting Silly Now...

Another fun day yesterday... at last it was Friday and the week was nearly at an end. But then Mistress told me last night that clocks go forward this weekend so we lose an hour of sleep. Bah! Like we had any sleep anyway.

So my chaotic story writing life continues. I now have two stories 90pc complete... one really good idea that's sort of 25pc complete and another brand new story that's 98pc complete!

This  latest one came to me yesterday as I was driving around and I ended up stopping and dictating it into my phone for about 20 minutes. Of course the phone wrote absolute gibberish but I manage to decipher it when I got home. Good job I did it the same day though... as I would have been confused!

This new story is kinda different again and is written in the first person, which I don't really do anymore... but the inspiration came from my own experience of driving around with nothing much to occupy my mind and inevitably thinking about Mistress's gorgeous body and in particular her perfect feet.

I was driving for about an hour with a half hard cock and thinking 'well there's not much I can do without calling Mistress and asking for permission' when I realised that this had the makings of a story. As it goes I don't think Mistress would have given me permission anyway, but since I've never asked her from a distance (or during the day for that matter; knowing my luck she'd be in a meeting) who knows?

Anyway, I didn't. But I did write the story... and it's almost there.

Meanwhile, last night Mistress and I went to bed for a while and Mistress had a lovely orgasm on my tongue, after which I got to worship those beautiful, sexy feet that I had been thinking about practically all day. Then Mistress told me to put a cock ring on and I grabbed the Oxballs Cocksling 2 again. 

I don't know, when it first arrived it seemed really good, but now it doesn't seem to work as well as I thought. I kept the old one, because I just expect everything new to be inferior now so I never throw stuff away immediately, and holding them up together you can see that the part that goes around your cock is larger than the older version, or it's already stretched... which is annoying. It seems to be made of squidgier material, which I didn't think was a bad thing but maybe that's why it's not as good?

Why do I feel like I'm making excuses here... oh yes, it's definitely the cock ring is too big, not that your cock is too small. 🤣

Anyway, it took me a while to get hard honestly, I think being overstimulated for so long today didn't help, but eventually I did and Mistress teased me beautifully. But oh no, disaster struck. Mistress took me to the edge, not even a hard edge, not even 'she took me to the edge and then gave me three more strokes' like she sometimes does... just a regular medium edge and I warned her I was close and she let go. I was good, until I saw (not felt, mind you) a trickle of cum appear at the tip of my cock.

I couldn't believe it. I felt absolutely nothing at all, just watched in horror as the cum slid down the side of my cock and pooled on my stomach. Mistress thought it was hilarious... and she chuckled to herself as she gathered up my cum and fed it to me. So now I am owed two punishments, one for touching my cock without permission (when I was pretty much asleep - honestly) and now a second accidental ruin!

F U C K

Ah yes, my punishment... last week I hurt my back and it's still sore now, I'm still taking shitloads of painkillers as well, and we both felt that paddling my ass while I was in that state was a bad idea. But still eventually my back will be good and then the ferryman will demand payment. I hope I don't accrue any more punishments in the meantime or I am going to be sore!  

Mistress and I discussed punishments, I even looked online to try and find things to suggest, but it was rather hopeless. Mistress didn't find any merit in making me walk on Lego or kneel on dry rice. And Vanessa's idea of wrapping my cock in duck tape was dismissed on the grounds that she didn't want to do anything that left me sore and unable to be teased (I have to say I agree, I don't mind having an achey ass for a couple of days but a bright red cock that needs cream on it every hour is not my idea of fun) and the other things I found that were supposedly 'punishments' weren't really applicable to a submissive pervert like me.

Make him eat your pussy every night for a week, make him lick your ass, pee on him... oh no, please Mistress, you're so brutal, I promise I'll never do it again. 🤣

So it's the paddle, and more worryingly the crop. Pray for me readers... pray for me! 

Too Many Ideas, Too Little Time...

Don't you just hate the first week back at work after time off? Yeah it sucks...

And it sucks even more when your back hurts, you've buttfucked your perfect weight-loss record into the middle of next week and you're struggling to get back on the wagon let me tell you! But maybe I just need to cut myself some slack... I've done well over a very long period after all, it's just that I am scared of going backwards. 

Anyway.... it's not the only thing I'm struggling with at the moment, the stories are giving me hell too!

First off, I all but completed 'Recruiting a New Pet Ch2', then I substantially completed another new story (and made notes for part two of that) and then last night I went to bed about 11:30 and fell asleep straight away. But not half an hour later I was wide awake with yet another story idea spinning around in my head. Aaaaaargh, for God's sake!! 

And of course this new one pushed all thoughts of completing the other two out of the way in an instant (though to be honest, it's one of those extra-spicy stories I feel awkward about writing... knowing that Mistress R will read it - but maybe that's why it feels so exciting?).

I felt so awake that I was on the verge of getting up again and writing it, but thankfully I dropped off and managed to sleep through until 6:30am this morning (a blessing honestly, as I'm sure I would have been up until 2am otherwise). Of course as soon as I woke up this morning the story returned along with a morning boner that just wouldn't quit... and so I spent the next 40 minutes mentally plotting the story and trying to keep my hands from touching my aching cock.

I'm starting to see how I came to end up with two 95% complete stories on my laptop for two years now... but I will try and avoid that scenario recurring. I'm already confused about what to do with this other story, I thought I was going to write it in the form of a letter, but now I'm not so sure... maybe I will start with the letter and then go on to explain from the woman's point of view. 

Maybe then I do a third chapter explaining it from the man's point of view? I really don't know.

The Power of Distraction...

Yesterday I did something really stupid. No, don't worry I didn't touch my cock again... I'm not that stupid! No, unfortunately I was supposed to sort out the garage while Mistress had lunch with her friend... and I did eventually do that, but as I entered the chaos that was our garage I spied the lawn edger and decided it would be a good idea to edge the lawn. I mean, sounds like way too much fun for the lawn if you ask me, but anyway...

Our lawn is pretty small, so it wasn't a big job or anything. One edge has paving slabs and one edge meets gravel so it's really just the back and the right hand side that needed doing. So I started and by the time I was 2/3rds of the way round I had managed to fuck up my back. I couldn't really leave it half done though so I persisted and then spent an hour on the sofa with a heat pad before I eventually went out and sorted the garage. 

Predictably my back only got worse during the evening and today it wasn't much better. Actually standing up was better than sitting down in some ways and we had booked an Escape Room and a lunch out today which was probably a good thing really as we probably would have ended up doing nothing otherwise.

We both really wanted to have some bed-time this afternoon and as always I was super eager to taste Mistress's gorgeous pussy, but I was in two minds about whether I was likely to be able to ignore the pain in my back enough to enjoy any teasing that Mistress might have wanted to give me.

Well, as often happens actually, once I got my face down between Mistress's super-sexy thighs I soon forgot all about the pain in my back. It's amazing how that happens isn't it? And so after Mistress had her orgasm and I worshipped her feet a little while she hopped off the bed and then jumped right back on it. She said 'I want you to lick me properly clean...'

Talk about music to my ears! I slid up the bed as she put her hands on the solid wooden bead-head and leaned forward as I pressed my face between her legs from behind. I just love cleaning Mistress's gorgeous pussy and ass and her juices taste so amazing I wish she would do this every time.... so, so wonderful! 

Well after that delicious moment my back pain was well and truly forgotten and I was excited when Mistress asked if I was going to put a cock ring on. I quickly put the Oxballs Cocksling 2 on and slid onto the bed next to Mistress. We kissed and Mistress's fingers immediately started to gently tease my balls. 

I don't know what it is about this kind of super light teasing, but it seems to send me nuts almost immediately. I was rock hard and breathing heavy in seconds, I mean obviously cleaning Mistress first got my motor started but it's crazy how fast this seems to work on me.

Mistress kept this up a while before eventually sitting up next to me and giving my balls some playful slaps. Then she started to stroke my cock properly, which felt fantastic. I was so worked up that it wasn't too long before I felt the edge approaching and mindful of my previous faux-pas I decided to shoot the flare a little earlier this time.

A wise decision perhaps, but as Mistress let go she said 'Then that's all you're getting for today'...

While I of course respect Mistress's decision, my cock really didn't want to hear it and as I cuddled her my cock throbbed against her thigh, which (I noticed) she pressed firmly forward to make it even harder. As I lay there I secretly imagined her smashing her sexy thigh into my poor aching balls and that didn't help matters either - my cock was steel-hard for ages! And even when I pulled the Oxballs off it refused to calm down completely. 

🙂

Sadly as soon as I got out of bed the back pain returned, though it doesn't seem quite as bad. It's amazing what a bit of distraction can do... 

What Made You Think I Was Going to be Fair....

Every so often I come across a caption that really speaks to me. This is one such caption... if we're honest with ourselves 'fairness' is the absolutely last thing we really want.  

Speaking of which, another awesome post at SubHub's blog 'She Was Selfish'.

Oops, I Did it Again...

I didn't think it would happen so soon... I really didn't, but unfortunately I slipped up again!

I'm still not sleeping well, and this morning I had to get up early to go and get weighed. While I've generally been waking up before 7AM, this morning I woke up at 5:40... and I just knew I wasn't going to get back to sleep. I tried, but it just wasn't happening, and eventually I rolled onto my back. I was kinda half awake - half asleep, and I suddenly realised I was touching my cock. 

I immediately pulled my hand away, and the stupid thing is it wasn't even as if I was hard and desperate for attention! So of course I had to tell Mistress R today (as per our new rules) and so I have to wait and see what punishment she decides to administer. I really can't believe it, I thought it would be months until I had to confess to anything and so did Mistress...

At least it wasn't a conscious decision, that's all I can offer by way of excuse, but still...

The good news is that today I finally made it to 4 stone (56lbs) lost, which made me very happy and took a lot of pressure off because I really needed to achieve that before things get too relaxed this week while we are off work. I've already booked next week off to give myself an extra week to get back on track.

As far as the story goes... I really haven't had time to do anything to it the last couple of days and I'm not entirely sure when I will get time to finish it. I was expecting it to be done any time, but it might not be this week now. Last time I read it it felt 'off' somehow. I don't know if it's because I'm trying to write it in a slightly different style, adding in some humiliation for example, but whatever it is, it definitely needs more work. Maybe I should get Mistress to read it as it is and see if she has any advice? 

'Danni and Mike: The Anniversary' is still climbing on Literotica albeit very slowly. It's now up to 4.4 / 5, but I can't see it climbing all the way to 4.5 so maybe I have to accept that story isn't good enough to be labelled 'HOT'. 

Sunday Morning Teasing...

So it seems that 'Danni and Mike: The Anniversary' hasn't quite hit the mark like the previous four stories I posted to Literotica and it's currently sitting just under the 'HOT' threshold on 4.4 / 5. Still a jolly good score, but not quite there. It has risen about 0.3 over the last couple of days so it's heading in the right direction, and I guess I should be happy with that.

I was planning to follow that up with 'Danni and Mike: Danni's Game', but instead I've been working on 'Recruiting a New Pet - Chapter 2' (with outlines for chapters 3, 4 and 5!) since what started as a pretty short, almost throwaway tale of Goddess Cora and her nervy young pet has become my new highest scoring work on Lit (currently a fairly staggering 4.74 / 5!).

Part two takes a surprising direction, honestly I was struggling to see how to continue the story without it being a little underwhelming, but I've come up with something and I'm quite pleased with how it's going so far. Of course, writing sequels to new stories isn't really helping me get the backlog of ideas down, and I'm still coming up with new ideas to add to the pile. All I need is a few more hours in a day so that I can turn these ideas into finished stories!

After a week of poor sleep (I notice the moon was full last night and I believe that can have something to do with it) Mistress and I have been quite tired the last few days. And yesterday we had to get up early to go out for the day and then in the evening we were out late visiting Mistress R's cousin and her adorable new puppy.

We were both hoping to sleep in this morning, but once again I woke up early. I thought about just giving up and getting up, but I felt so groggy and tired I decided to just lay quietly for a while longer. Unfortunately for me when I am tired like this my foot and leg hurts a lot due to nerve damage from a back operation many years ago. It's like numbness, but it hurts if that makes sense.

Anyway, I kind of dozed for about an hour I guess and by then I was really starting to ache all over, not just my leg/foot and I really needed to get up and get some painkillers to take the edge off. I rolled onto my back and realised that Mistress was awake too. She moved towards me and I felt her hand move across my stomach and just rest there.

To be honest I was half excited / half worried that she would want to tease me because there was zero sign of morning wood today. After a little while she moved her hand away and then put it back again, this time just brushing against the tip. I tried to relax and my mind meandered first to that super memorable Saturday night teasing from last weekend (wow, was that really only a week ago, it seems like it's burned so hard into my memory from repeated viewing) and then to another favourite memory of mine... 

It's a good couple of years ago now, but one time I was downstairs and Mistress called me upstairs, I had no idea why... when I got up there she undid her jeans, pulled them down, turned around and told me to worship her ass. That was so fucking hot. It's something Mistress has rarely done, maybe only two or three times ever, but I LOVED just being told to do it and then sent away again.

Well this seemed to do the trick and I was soon surprisingly hard! 

Mistress started to very gently tease my cock and soon I was breathing heavy and pushing against her hand, desperate for more (but secretly wanting her to keep it light and frustrating). It felt so incredibly good. Eventually though I started to go off the boil, but given how tired I am at the moment I was happy to have got where I did in the first place. 

Seems to be the way of it at the moment, it's not that I can't get hard, but the numbness eventually takes it's toll and that's where the cock ring / cocksling / ballstretcher comes in handy, just to keep things going. Especially with this kind of super frustrating teasing. I do love it like that though, Mistress teasing me so lightly... I can't believe it's taken me forty five years to realise just how amazing that kind of stimulation really is!    

Mistress was feeling too achy and tired herself to enjoy my tongue this morning, but hopefully later we'll both be feeling more awake and up for it.

R.A.N.P. - 2 is quite far along and I should expect it to be finished in the next 2-3 days (at the most), so look out for that soon.

More Positive Discussions and a Punishment...

Last night was interesting and very positive. Mistress was rather tired (neither of us seem to be sleeping that well at the moment), and after she had a nice orgasm on my tongue I just wanted her to rest. But she insisted she wanted to tease me... and I was eventually persuaded. 

And I'm glad because it was bloody fantastic! 

But first Mistress decided to administer the punishment for my accidental ruin the other day. Now as you know I'm no pain slut... so don't expect me to take 50 swats with a paddle. But I want to be fair with Mistress as far as establishing what is a reasonable punishment for distinct events because I want them to be a deterrent too and after the fact I did feel three with each side of the paddle wasn't really enough. 

Although saying that I am still feeling it today so it was obviously something... maybe I just have a delicate bottom? Actually you know... I never thought about it before but the fact that my butt feels a little tender today means that I am constantly thinking about Mistress (and by extension last night's teasing) and that makes me very happy. Oh and there's more to this story too, but first... 

After my punishment I put the Oxballs Cocksling on and Mistress applied a little lube to her fingers then began teasing my cock and balls. It felt amazing... again it wasn't really stroking, just using her fingers to play and tease. I can't believe how frustrating this kind of teasing is and  honestly I absolutely LOVE IT!   

Mistress did eventually give me some full strokes but only for about 30 seconds right near the end. I wasn't edged though as Mistress had already decided a time limit for this teasing since it was part of my punishment.... though I can't help thinking I enjoyed it way too much to really call it that. I guess some 'normal' guys would find it infuriating to be teased like that, but not me. I loved it, especially since Mistress was going the extra mile and talking to me throughout, just pressing buttons in my submissive brain...... so damned good!

After I had taken the Oxballs off, Mistress and I talked some more about our chastity-Femdom relationship and how we want it to be from now on. I told her that the paddling I had received didn't really seem sufficient and she agreed. It's notable that every time we are discussing punishing me she likes to jump to a harsher punishment - like I was saying that we need a guide amount but that she could modify it depending on how long it had been since she'd previously punished me for the same thing and she immediately said 'Then it's doubled!'. Eeek, what have I done! 

We continued to talk about things and then Mistress suggested we try the crop instead. You know... I can't even remember how long ago (or even from where) we got this crop. It sits behind my bedside table and every Session I get it out and after every Session I put it back. It must have been there for at least ten years and I don't remember it ever being used once. Just like the Nexus prostate massager thing.

But not tonight! Mistress used it on my ass a few times, harder each time. And at first it was okay but by the third or fourth stroke it was really quite stingy. I'm not sure whether I can still feel that today or not, I think I can because while my whole rump feels sensitive there is one spot that feels particularly tender... and it definitely has quite a sting to it (remember I am no pain slut, so if you're laughing at the back, shut up!).

Our problem is Mistress doesn't want to give up using the paddle in our Femdom sessions because she likes using it (Mistress is so cute when she says that, I love it!). But we really need something we can keep specifically for punishments, so maybe the crop is the answer. She can always use both together for punishments and still keep the paddle in our sessions.

I mean, as much as I'm not into pain, I love that Mistress enjoys using it on me, so I'd be more than happy for her to use the paddle or whip whenever she wanted to (she already uses the cock whip on my cock and balls fairly regularly) for no reason other than she likes it. In which case it's even more important we keep something back solely for punishments.

Anyway... as our discussion was going so well I decided to bring up another subject that I've been wanting to broach for a long time. Actually a very long time...

Y'see... because we've never used an actual cage (Mistress never liked the idea and I'm not really convinced it would be great for me either having very briefly tried a plastic one and seen how much it stuck out under my clothes. Also not being circumcised I wonder how you can ever keep yourself clean?) we've never really had the mindset of me getting 'unlocked'. So with that in mind I explained to Mistress that I think really there is no need for her to feel obliged to tease me every time I go down on her. 

I love making her cum so much that just that alone makes me so happy... obviously I love getting teased too, but I would rather Mistress only did it if she really wanted to. If she's a little tired or if it wasn't as great as it could have been and she doesn't feel like teasing me, or if she just doesn't want to then I'm okay with that. 

Honestly I'd rather be teased less but have it be great because I knew Mistress really wanted to do it (honestly I struggle to really enjoy it if I feel like Mistress isn't really in the mood and she's just doing it for me) and I LOVE the idea of Mistress enjoying her own pleasure without worrying about mine. I've always said her pleasure and satisfaction is paramount in all of this and I meant it. Besides, Mistress sometimes teases me late at night when she wants nothing for herself, and last time she did that it was OFF THE CHARTS good, so I have nothing to complain about. 

I must admit though, this is perhaps one area where caged chastity is superior, that the keyholder decides when and if you are let out. Without that it's probably harder for the Mistress who might feel mean just taking pleasure without reciprocating. And it's hard to explain that, during our conversation I caught myself about to say 'I want you to be selfish' but stopped myself because 'selfish' gives it a negative slant and I don't want her to feel that way about it. 

Anyway, I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time but I've been waiting for the right time because I was really expecting her to pushback against it. However... Mistress took this extremely well and the look on her face was priceless. Honestly she looked at me like I had just given her a ten carat diamond. So that was interesting...! 

I'm really happy though that she sees it as a positive and further to that I took great pains to explain that I won't feel resentment or complain about it (which I absolutely won't - not even in jest, until I am sure she has accepted that I really am on board). And in future the default position will be that nothing is happening unless she tells me it is. I think this is very important because I feel like again if it's left on her to tell me 'nothing is happening' then she might feel bad about it and at least until she gets used to this new situation it's best avoided.

I also explained that if I was caged properly she might decide to tease me without unlocking me. That could mean just kissing me but not touching me sexually, playing with my nipples or balls or using a dildo in my ass. I must admit I really love the idea of Mistress pegging me without any other teasing or minimal teasing... just enjoying her orgasm and then fucking me. That's a seriously hot thought... 

And since our conversation was going so well I decided to also explain that I didn't want her to feel like she had to edge me every time she teases me. Since I have stopped having regular orgasms, teasing has become so much more pleasurable. Once you take the 'endgame' out of the equation you learn to enjoy the whole experience and now every gentle touch, every slap, every lick is so much more than before.

Of course I love being edged and I'm not saying I don't want that anymore, simply that she shouldn't feel it's necessary to my enjoyment of her teasing as a whole. If she wants to edge me that's great, but at the same time if she just wants to gently tease me or just hold my cock gently and tell me to fuck her hand then I'm 100pc on board with that too.

Oh fuck that's another very hot thought... there's another story right there!

Mistress and I also discussed some other ideas for punishments, she actually suggested making me wear a cock ring all evening, which is a great idea in theory but unfortunately probably not a good one in practice. Since cock rings restrict bloodflow wearing them for more than 30mins is not a great idea. I'm not so sure about the ball stretcher, that might be less restrictive, but I think probably our largest buttplug (the glass one that I can only just take) is probably a safer bet - and definitely not comfortable for me!

I'm wondering what else we could do that would be like putting spikes in a cage? Perhaps some kind of cream she could rub on my balls - not as strong as Deep Heat. but a similar idea. Or maybe I could concoct a potion using Deep Heat mixed with something else like E45 cream to tone it down so that it's uncomfortable rather than complete agony!

(In case you're wondering, yes I do know what it feels like because many years ago Mistress accidently* rubbed some neat Deep Heat on my nuts and it was not fun!)

* Well, she said it was an accident... I'm not so sure.

I didn't mention this to Mistress last night but I also think perhaps it would be good if I wore a butt plug while going down on her, then if she wants to she can play with it, or if she did want to peg me then I'm already warmed up, but if she doesn't want anything further she can just ignore it and I can remove it when we get out of bed. I will suggest this to her later. 

Okay, well I guess that's about it for today, for the third (or is it the fourth?) time this week I woke up at 6am and couldn't get back to sleep... so that was another hour I spent thinking about the previous night and clasping my hands together to keep them away from my throbbing cock - gah! 

Oh well, never mind, Mistress and I are on holiday next week so hopefully I will be able to catch up on my sleep (and finish some more stories too!). 

It's Only Words...

The other day I suggested that perhaps Literotica might return my story 'Tell Me the Truth' because of the ball-kicking content it contained; but I was wrong and they published it without any issue. However I noticed this morning that I had an email from 'Blogger' telling me that my post 'Tell Me the Truth' had been re-instated. Looking further down my inbox I discovered another email telling me my post had been put behind a sensitive content warning... so maybe it's Google I need to worry about now?

Quite why they need to put individual posts behind 'Sensitive Content' warnings when the whole blog is behind a sensitive content warning I really don't know, but I'm glad they decided to put it back. I mean 'The Vice' is still on the blog and that's way more fucked up than 'Tell Me the Truth' ('The Vice' is the one that Literotica flat out refused to publish and there was another story I had to modify considerably to make it lame enough for them, that one was another CBT story. Thankfully you can read both of these in their original format HERE).

I've never really understood the need to censor texts (as opposed to videos or pictures), to my mind you should be able to write pretty much what you want. I mean proper published novels contain the most graphic descriptions of murder, rape and God knows what else, so I really don't see why 'stories' which in this particular case feature a 'couple' engaging in consensual CBT should require censorship.

Anyhoo, I've just submitted 'Danni & Mike - The Anniversary' to Literotica, hope you enjoyed that one, and I'm starting another 'Danni & Mike' story next I think, no title as yet but hopefully it will be along soon. In the meantime I'm blown away by the reaction my recent spate of stories has received, with all five of them currently sitting in the 4.5-4.8/10 range (which means all of them are rated 'HOT' on Literotica). 

Admittedly as time goes by it's likely that these scores will slowly fall, but they have all started damned strong and as long as they don't fall past 4.5/5 they retain that little 'HOT' tag. Hopefully 'Danni & Mike - The Anniversary' will hit the mark too and keep this streak going!

I'm itching to start writing what will likely be my next 'big' story, but first I really want to clear out as many ideas from my desktop folder as I can. I am off work next week so that should give me some free time to write.

Also I think I need to look into self-publishing again, or publishing on demand, or whatever it's called. Because I would still really like an actual properly printed book of my stories, or books I guess since there's a lot of them now... I can't really imagine that many other people would actually want to buy a copy given that all these stories are freely available here and on Literotica, but maybe I could write a story that was exclusive to the book.... hmm.

Does anyone have any experience with these kinds of services, or advice? Thanks in advance...