A Question from a Reader...

Today I received a question from a reader and I thought I would answer it in a post as it's a very good question and deserves a detailed reply. 

Jason B said: "I've been reading your blog for a long time, actually a very long time, maybe even since the start. And I've always wondered, deep down in your heart of hearts, do you wish you were properly caged? I know you've been doing this for over ten years so it must be working pretty well, but even so do you feel like you are missing out?"

First of all, thank you Jason for this intriguing question... this is a really hard one to answer and this is actually my third go at doing it! 

So, first of all, I think it would be odd if there wasn't a part of me that wanted to be 'properly' locked in a cage, wouldn't it? I mean, if you want 'orgasm control' as a lifestyle then that's pretty much the accepted way to achieve it isn't it? The cock is locked, the keyholder decides when and indeed 'if' the cock gets let out and while it is certainly possible to have a ruined orgasm in chastity, it's as good a method of control as you're going to get.

And you know, I'm well aware that being 'voluntarily' chaste is NOT 'the same' as being locked up. I know it isn't physically and perhaps even more importantly psychologically, it's world's apart. You only have to try on a chastity device for a few minutes to realise that it's a whole different ball game. Especially, if like me, you have a solid or opaque device which means that once inside you can't even see your cock. That's a real headfuck, believe me... and it must take quite a bit of getting used to honestly. 

So yes for sure I am not getting the 'full experience' and I totally accept that.

But, on the other hand, cages bring other issues and also part of the appeal of a cage is the whole fantasy element, the whole 'Mistress wearing the key around her neck as a constant reminder 24/7...'. I mean that's just chastity storytelling 101 isn't it? 

'The key to my cage glinting in the light as it dangles between her heavy breasts....' etc.

Yeah, sounds awesome. The thing is though, I really don't see that happening. If Mistress had me caged, I'd bet you a thousand pounds the key would either be lying in a drawer, stuck in a cupboard, or hanging on a hook somewhere; it certainly wouldn't be around her neck, because Mistress likes wearing nice necklaces and she wouldn't want a crappy looking key getting in the way. So that's that little fantasy shot to hell straight away...

And then there's the matter of late-night teasing... some of the best teasing I've ever had has occurred at 2:00AM when Mistress has been up late enjoying a glass or two of vino, do I honestly think she's going to come to bed and start fumbling around with a key to unlock me? No... I really don't. Too much hassle, especially at that time of night. Knowing my luck she'd give me the key and tell me to unlock myself... and by the time I had she'd probably have fallen asleep. 🤣🤣

So there are two very good reasons why I'm not sorry I'm not in a cage. There's also the difficulties of maintaining hygiene (especially as I am not circumcised) and possible discomfort/rashes etc to worry about. I know from reading chastity blogs that contrary to what you read in 'stories' most people who end up in long term chastity have to commit to a lot of trial and error (not to mention 'expense') to find a device that really works for them and I feel like you've really got to want to do that (and just as importantly I feel like your partner has really got to want you to do that too). 

I must admit the last time I tried my CB3000 on it seemed to fit better than it had before, probably because of the weight I've lost... but it's still not something I would consider suitable for long term wear. I think you'd pretty much have to take it off every day to shower and that to me kind of defeats the whole point of having it, because you're still essentially being 'trusted' not to jerk off in the shower aren't you? 

Sure, there are many who have bespoke metal cages (which by nature are more open, leaving room for cleaning etc) and it certainly works for them, but I think a big part of that is how invested their partners are in them having a cage. If you have a Mistress/keyholder who loves the idea of having the power to lock/unlock you then that's a great start. That kind of keyholder is going to be the one that enjoys wearing the key round her neck and dangling it in your face at every opportunity.... but if your partner is less than enthused in the first place then it's probably never going to work, even if you really want it to. I'm pretty sure the first time I got a rash or woke up in the night with a painful erection, Mistress would just declare it too much hassle and that would be the end of that.

But sure yeah... when I read (or write) chastity stories where devices are used of course I fantasize about being locked in a cage, especially stories where the keyholder cruelly fits the 'points of intrigue'... and I guess it would be okay to wear it for a few hours or something, maybe if Mistress was going out and she wanted me to be constantly thinking about her the whole evening. 😏

But ultimately Mistress R was never keen on the idea so we found our own path and clearly it works for us (and has for over fourteen years now). I'm sure our way wouldn't work for everyone and that's fair enough. I guess if anything the thing I do feel like we miss out on a bit is the power-play of it, as I do feel like me being actually 'caged' would make Mistress feel more 'powerful' and thus perhaps more likely to be more self-centred in the bedroom (since inevitably part of the 'game' of being caged is whether you get 'let out' or not). But there you are... 

So Jason, the answer is probably, yes of course, but.... maybe in reality no.