Last night was interesting and very positive. Mistress was rather tired (neither of us seem to be sleeping that well at the moment), and after she had a nice orgasm on my tongue I just wanted her to rest. But she insisted she wanted to tease me... and I was eventually persuaded.
And I'm glad because it was bloody fantastic!
But first Mistress decided to administer the punishment for my accidental ruin the other day. Now as you know I'm no pain slut... so don't expect me to take 50 swats with a paddle. But I want to be fair with Mistress as far as establishing what is a reasonable punishment for distinct events because I want them to be a deterrent too and after the fact I did feel three with each side of the paddle wasn't really enough.
Although saying that I am still feeling it today so it was obviously something... maybe I just have a delicate bottom? Actually you know... I never thought about it before but the fact that my butt feels a little tender today means that I am constantly thinking about Mistress (and by extension last night's teasing) and that makes me very happy. Oh and there's more to this story too, but first...
After my punishment I put the Oxballs Cocksling on and Mistress applied a little lube to her fingers then began teasing my cock and balls. It felt amazing... again it wasn't really stroking, just using her fingers to play and tease. I can't believe how frustrating this kind of teasing is and honestly I absolutely LOVE IT!
Mistress did eventually give me some full strokes but only for about 30 seconds right near the end. I wasn't edged though as Mistress had already decided a time limit for this teasing since it was part of my punishment.... though I can't help thinking I enjoyed it way too much to really call it that. I guess some 'normal' guys would find it infuriating to be teased like that, but not me. I loved it, especially since Mistress was going the extra mile and talking to me throughout, just pressing buttons in my submissive brain...... so damned good!
After I had taken the Oxballs off, Mistress and I talked some more about our chastity-Femdom relationship and how we want it to be from now on. I told her that the paddling I had received didn't really seem sufficient and she agreed. It's notable that every time we are discussing punishing me she likes to jump to a harsher punishment - like I was saying that we need a guide amount but that she could modify it depending on how long it had been since she'd previously punished me for the same thing and she immediately said 'Then it's doubled!'. Eeek, what have I done!
We continued to talk about things and then Mistress suggested we try the crop instead. You know... I can't even remember how long ago (or even from where) we got this crop. It sits behind my bedside table and every Session I get it out and after every Session I put it back. It must have been there for at least ten years and I don't remember it ever being used once. Just like the Nexus prostate massager thing.
But not tonight! Mistress used it on my ass a few times, harder each time. And at first it was okay but by the third or fourth stroke it was really quite stingy. I'm not sure whether I can still feel that today or not, I think I can because while my whole rump feels sensitive there is one spot that feels particularly tender... and it definitely has quite a sting to it (remember I am no pain slut, so if you're laughing at the back, shut up!).
Our problem is Mistress doesn't want to give up using the paddle in our Femdom sessions because she likes using it (Mistress is so cute when she says that, I love it!). But we really need something we can keep specifically for punishments, so maybe the crop is the answer. She can always use both together for punishments and still keep the paddle in our sessions.
I mean, as much as I'm not into pain, I love that Mistress enjoys using it on me, so I'd be more than happy for her to use the paddle or whip whenever she wanted to (she already uses the cock whip on my cock and balls fairly regularly) for no reason other than she likes it. In which case it's even more important we keep something back solely for punishments.
Anyway... as our discussion was going so well I decided to bring up another subject that I've been wanting to broach for a long time. Actually a very long time...
Y'see... because we've never used an actual cage (Mistress never liked the idea and I'm not really convinced it would be great for me either having very briefly tried a plastic one and seen how much it stuck out under my clothes. Also not being circumcised I wonder how you can ever keep yourself clean?) we've never really had the mindset of me getting 'unlocked'. So with that in mind I explained to Mistress that I think really there is no need for her to feel obliged to tease me every time I go down on her.
I love making her cum so much that just that alone makes me so happy... obviously I love getting teased too, but I would rather Mistress only did it if she really wanted to. If she's a little tired or if it wasn't as great as it could have been and she doesn't feel like teasing me, or if she just doesn't want to then I'm okay with that.
Honestly I'd rather be teased less but have it be great because I knew Mistress really wanted to do it (honestly I struggle to really enjoy it if I feel like Mistress isn't really in the mood and she's just doing it for me) and I LOVE the idea of Mistress enjoying her own pleasure without worrying about mine. I've always said her pleasure and satisfaction is paramount in all of this and I meant it. Besides, Mistress sometimes teases me late at night when she wants nothing for herself, and last time she did that it was OFF THE CHARTS good, so I have nothing to complain about.
I must admit though, this is perhaps one area where caged chastity is superior, that the keyholder decides when and if you are let out. Without that it's probably harder for the Mistress who might feel mean just taking pleasure without reciprocating. And it's hard to explain that, during our conversation I caught myself about to say 'I want you to be selfish' but stopped myself because 'selfish' gives it a negative slant and I don't want her to feel that way about it.
Anyway, I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time but I've been waiting for the right time because I was really expecting her to pushback against it. However... Mistress took this extremely well and the look on her face was priceless. Honestly she looked at me like I had just given her a ten carat diamond. So that was interesting...!
I'm really happy though that she sees it as a positive and further to that I took great pains to explain that I won't feel resentment or complain about it (which I absolutely won't - not even in jest, until I am sure she has accepted that I really am on board). And in future the default position will be that nothing is happening unless she tells me it is. I think this is very important because I feel like again if it's left on her to tell me 'nothing is happening' then she might feel bad about it and at least until she gets used to this new situation it's best avoided.
I also explained that if I was caged properly she might decide to tease me without unlocking me. That could mean just kissing me but not touching me sexually, playing with my nipples or balls or using a dildo in my ass. I must admit I really love the idea of Mistress pegging me without any other teasing or minimal teasing... just enjoying her orgasm and then fucking me. That's a seriously hot thought...
And since our conversation was going so well I decided to also explain that I didn't want her to feel like she had to edge me every time she teases me. Since I have stopped having regular orgasms, teasing has become so much more pleasurable. Once you take the 'endgame' out of the equation you learn to enjoy the whole experience and now every gentle touch, every slap, every lick is so much more than before.
Of course I love being edged and I'm not saying I don't want that anymore, simply that she shouldn't feel it's necessary to my enjoyment of her teasing as a whole. If she wants to edge me that's great, but at the same time if she just wants to gently tease me or just hold my cock gently and tell me to fuck her hand then I'm 100pc on board with that too.
Oh fuck that's another very hot thought... there's another story right there!
Mistress and I also discussed some other ideas for punishments, she actually suggested making me wear a cock ring all evening, which is a great idea in theory but unfortunately probably not a good one in practice. Since cock rings restrict bloodflow wearing them for more than 30mins is not a great idea. I'm not so sure about the ball stretcher, that might be less restrictive, but I think probably our largest buttplug (the glass one that I can only just take) is probably a safer bet - and definitely not comfortable for me!
I'm wondering what else we could do that would be like putting spikes in a cage? Perhaps some kind of cream she could rub on my balls - not as strong as Deep Heat. but a similar idea. Or maybe I could concoct a potion using Deep Heat mixed with something else like E45 cream to tone it down so that it's uncomfortable rather than complete agony!
(In case you're wondering, yes I do know what it feels like because many years ago Mistress accidently* rubbed some neat Deep Heat on my nuts and it was not fun!)
* Well, she said it was an accident... I'm not so sure.
I didn't mention this to Mistress last night but I also think perhaps it would be good if I wore a butt plug while going down on her, then if she wants to she can play with it, or if she did want to peg me then I'm already warmed up, but if she doesn't want anything further she can just ignore it and I can remove it when we get out of bed. I will suggest this to her later.
Okay, well I guess that's about it for today, for the third (or is it the fourth?) time this week I woke up at 6am and couldn't get back to sleep... so that was another hour I spent thinking about the previous night and clasping my hands together to keep them away from my throbbing cock - gah!
Oh well, never mind, Mistress and I are on holiday next week so hopefully I will be able to catch up on my sleep (and finish some more stories too!).
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