Learning to Appreciate That Less Can be More...

It's funny, but it seems like when I really decide to put my mind to something, I can do things that I've failed to achieve time and time again before. Like dieting, for example. Last June I decided I was going to lose weight because I was knocking on the door of 19 Stone (266lbs) and fast approaching 55 years old. I figured time was running out to do something positive about this and so I set my mind to resolving this problem and here we are eight months later and I'm (almost) four stones (56lbs) lighter. Yes there's still a way to go, maybe another 1-2 stone, but I am the lightest I have been since I was in my 30s right now and I definitely feel better for it.

Similarly, it's now been five weeks since Mistress retook control of my cock and I still haven't touched it once, despite several occasions when I desperately wanted to... and you know I can't help but draw comparisons between chastity and dieting, in as much as how it makes you appreciate 'less' much more.

So before I started dieting I was a total chocaholic, I still am really, I don't suppose that will ever change. I've never been overly fussed about crisps and giving those up was pretty easy, and the same goes for alcohol, I only drink very small amounts of Jack Daniels and nothing else much so giving that up was no problem at all for me. But sweet things was a different matter, cakes, biscuits and particularly chocolate were always going to be the things I missed most.

Fortunately the diet I am on allows you to eat chocolate in moderation, and I've really come to appreciate those small quantities of chocolate (generally eaten on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday nights). Pretty much every kind of chocolate contains roughly the same calories so I find it makes more sense to eat 'posh' chocolates like Lindt, Hotel Chocolat and Charbonnel & Walker because it tastes richer and you want less of it, whereas eating good old Cadbury's just makes you want to keep going until you feel sick!

Similarly, now that I'm not allowed to give myself 'pleasure' without permission, every little touch of Mistress's fingers, nails and lips feels so much more special and pleasurable. Like on Friday morning, the teasing only lasted a few minutes and it was very gentle, I don't think Mistress even gave me more than about three actual 'strokes', but my cock was aching by the end of it. I must say in recent times I have really come to appreciate being 'teased' in a lighter way... I still really love being stroked, of course, but just feeling Mistress's fingers gently playing with my cock and balls is truly Heavenly and it's surprising how aroused I can get without any actual 'stroking'.

I would actually say that for me being edged is like 'cumming' used to be now, but with the added bonus of being repeatable as many times as Mistress wishes. In fact cumming properly is so intense now that it's almost painful. I mean I still enjoy it, obviously... in the moment at least, but there's always that slight regret afterwards.

It's so hard to explain, but if you asked me now I would say that if I could choose I would only ever be edged and ruined. But if you asked me again when I'm close to the edge, then you would get a different answer. I guess when you're in that state of arousal biology takes over and you want to cum badly. I think this is hard for people who haven't experienced chastity to fully understand, but I'm sure those of you who have will be nodding their heads sagely. Or maybe not, maybe some of you still always crave a full orgasm? I would be interested to know actually, if you care to leave a comment. 

Even so, for me teasing without edging can still be absolutely incredible and I love that Mistress controls not just if I can cum, and how I can cum, but also whether or not she decides to edge me or not. Of course this wouldn't be anything like as meaningful or powerful if I could edge myself later and ultimately the truth is that by giving in to that I would only be cheating myself out of this incredible gift that Mistress gives me by controlling me this way.   

I imagine if you are properly caged there must be the temptation to find ways to empty your balls (anal stimulation for example) but even if you achieve it, I bet the momentary relief soon gives way to a feeling of disappointment and ultimately regret... and that is exactly what I am keen to avoid.