Tuesday 28 January 2020

A Question I'm Sure I've Answered Before...

Someone left a comment asking if Mistress reads my stories. I'm sure I might have answered this question before, but if so it was probably a good long time ago so... here we go anyway. It depends which stories you mean, obviously I have written stories specifically for her and so obviously she has read those (although as I recall she didn't like the last one I wrote (Taking Ella's Ass), but still I can't get it right every time I guess!) That was the first one I ever wrote for her that she rejected, so I have a pretty good hit rate (although that was 18 months ago, but then last year I spent a lot of time reworking old stories).

As for the other stories, the ones I write that would appeal to my readers here, the Chastity / Cuckold / Femdom stories, well as far as I know, I don't think so. Not unless I specifically ask her to. I used to ask her to 'proof' read them, but I don't think I need that assistance any longer as I have become pretty thorough at correcting my errors in punctuation etc... but there's nothing stopping her reading them if she wants to, they are on my blog and she gets an email every time I publish anything here so it's not like she's not aware of them.

Perhaps a bigger question would be (and perhaps what the comment was trying to get at was), do I want her to read them? That's a whole lot more difficult to answer...

On the one hand, I would love Mistress to read them, it would give her a huge insight into how my mind works and what turns me on, what buttons she could press to fuck with my head while she's edging my cock and doubtless many useful ideas for future use, and hopefully while they might not turn her on the same as they do me, she still might appreciate my storytelling and the effort that has gone into writing them.

On the other hand, I know in the past when I've been writing I've sometimes felt conflicted about what I'm writing because I wonder what Mistress will think if she reads them. While my stories aren't really that 'extreme' in the realm of internet fiction, they are still quite colourful in relation to our real life, with scenarios in them that are way out of our mutual comfort zones. I think that's why I tend to write a lot of stories that feel like the first chapter in a bigger story... it feels safer to write about 'conversations' between characters rather than actions, for example I'm much more likely to write about a Mistress 'telling' her slave that she is going to make him watch her get fucked by another man and then make him suck his cock, than actually writing the scene itself.

Creatively this has actually become something of a problem; it's something I am now acutely aware of and something I need to address going forward. I certainly feel that this has stifled my ability to write longer stories in the past. It's okay in a stand alone short story to 'talk' about what you're 'going to do', but once you try to write a long form piece, people don't just want to read about 'what you're going to do' they want to read about it actually happening. That's what I mean about some of my stories sounding like 'first chapters' of longer stories.

But, you might well argue, if you don't think she reads them anyway, why does it even matter?

Well it probably doesn't really, but again there is that conflict in my head between me wanting her to read them and thus censoring myself, and wanting to write the best stories I can, whatever the content may be. I guess, what I'd ideally like would be to write the stories without the self-censorship and for then there be some way to present the story to Mistress in a format where she could easily tell which bits turn me on and form the basis of a real world desire, which bits turn me on even though I wouldn't actually want to live the experience for real, and which bits are there to serve the story.

But that's easier said than done perhaps, so maybe it's best she doesn't read them? But still, deep down I would love it if she did....

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