Yesterday I wrote quite a long post (which I haven’t published) which was triggered by the quote at the end of my review of ’22’s Diary’ by Maitresse P. I don’t know why, but it annoyed me a bit, I know it shouldn’t… but it did. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve heard that sentiment expressed, but I’ve only ever read it in fiction, which was most likely written by a man and projected onto a woman… this was the first time I’d seen it expressed by a woman*.
*Okay, I’m absolutely not getting into whether Maitresse P is a man or a woman and whether her diary is fact or fiction, and I will explain why in a minute.
I kind of get it, but at the same time… it’s not me, not the way I would behave, and so it’s hard for me to understand the mindset on both sides. But, I suppose if you are already married to a submissive man and you are only interested in dating well hung, super aggressive, ripped, black guys who probably take steroids and suffer the associated attitude problems, then I suppose men ‘asking’ if you like anal rather than ‘taking’ what they want would be a turn off… (that is, I agree, a rather specific set of circumstances).
Although thinking about it, being something of an avid ass-licker, maybe I would have my own work-around and wouldn’t actually need to ask, just see how she responds…
To be fair to Maitresse P, she does clearly say that guys like that are non-starters as ‘husbands’ and only good for fucking.
Yeah, actually that’s not helping is it?
Hmm…
So anyway, in all honesty I don’t really think that if I’d ‘taken’ Mistress R’s ass on our first date it would have gone well…
(I really hope not anyway, I really hope she’s not going to turn round to me now and say ‘Oh, yeah well you missed your chance there and set yourself up for an ass-free life’, because that would be very depressing. No amount of Lindt could pick me up after that I can tell you!)
But then again, as I’ve never actually had anal sex (well, not on the giving end anyway…) I’m not really sure if I’m missing anything or not. I probably am, let’s be honest… but since Mistress R is unlikely to ever want it, and since I’m never going to cheat on her or leave her, then I’ll probably die without knowing. Coming from a man who voluntarily gave up the right to initiate penetration, I guess you could say I’ve made my own bed (and then nailed the sheets to the bed-frame).
Okay, so let’s return to the whole ‘Maitesse P’ thing (you know the thing that I said I wasn’t going to get into), well… in fact there’s no need to limit it to that specific question… because in thinking about this I realised that I do tend to err on the sceptical side, perhaps almost too much. This hasn’t been helped by encountering certain people in the earlier days of the blog, who purported to be genuine and who quickly exposed themselves as utter fantasists.
It doesn’t really occur so much now, but at one time there was quite a few blogs where people were talking about being locked in chastity and even with my limited experience of devices, it was clear that they were talking absolute shit. And I just can’t be bothered with people like that, I just don’t see why you would ‘pretend’…
There used to be a blog, I can’t remember the name, it was ‘All For Her’ or something like that, and it was a very truthful blog about a guy who was trying to serve his wife as a submissive, and it was not an easy journey and he expressed his absolute frustration with the ongoing struggle and then his joy when he would have some small breakthrough. It was actually quite… distressing is putting it a bit strongly, but you know it was quite hard to read and I really felt for the guy because he wanted it so badly, and it was such a struggle for him to make any progress with his wife.
I mean, don’t let anyone tell you this lifestyle is easy, because it isn’t, it’s often very frustrating and not in the good way. But for the life of me I can’t comprehend why anyone would bother to write a fake blog about chastity, but people do and have and it makes you sceptical when new blogs appear and they don’t seem to have the right feeling about them.
That said, I do think that often I am rather quick to judge when I read other peoples writings, and this could easily apply to Maitresse P. I think what it comes down to is that in some ways my life has been rather… vanilla.
I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, I’m sure if my family, friends and colleagues knew about the chastity, the Femdom, the ball slapping, the cum eating and the strap-on… I don’t think they’d think I was ‘Vanilla’ in the slightest. But on the flip side to that, I married young. I only had one other girlfriend before I met Mistress R, the sex was largely non-existent and when it did exist it was rather poor.
I mean I tried… I went out with a girl who was three years older than me and still managed to pull a dud! Not to mention, thanks to her I missed out on teenage pussy completely!
I suppose blaming her for that is a bit harsh, but…. UUUUUURRRRGHH!!!!
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make, is that we (all) judge or appraise things we see / read with reference to our own experiences, and mine are fairly limited. I’ve never had a one night stand, I’ve never worn a condom (honestly), I had a blowjob in a car once…
I’m not ‘complaining’, I’m just saying that, for example, Maitresse P’s experiences (and let’s just take those at face value for now) are so different to mine that it’s almost hard for me to believe in it completely.
Now, that’s probably a better way to live than believing everything you read, sure… but I still think I’m a little bit too sceptical. For example, one thing that was said in the book was that she liked having a regular ‘Bull’ because she hated using condoms. Now, my immediate reaction to that is… okay, but since he’s fucking other people and so are you, that makes about as much sense as a chocolate teapot.
But this is it, isn’t it, people do have unprotected sex and rationalise it in whatever way they need to so they don’t have to worry about it. I have never cheated on a woman, or had multiple partners or whatever… I’ve never worn a condom because I’ve never had sex with someone I wasn’t in a ‘relationship’ with… so do you see what I’m trying to say here about judging other peoples stories by my experiences?
When I went out with my other girlfriend, she knew this other woman who was a bit older and had a kid. She was single, but the father was still (secretly) fucking her even though he’d left her to go and live with another woman who used to be the first woman’s friend (until they had a threesome and then it all went wrong…).
Even as a 19 year old I just looked at these supposedly older and more mature people and thought ‘you’re a bunch of fuck ups, I don’t want any part of this.. I want to find one woman that I love and marry her and that’s it’. And that’s exactly what I did, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m not upset that I didn’t do lots of wild and crazy shit, because I’m not that sort of person and I never have been, but undoubtedly it does colour my view on life and there’s not much I can do about that.
I guess I just have to tone down my scepticism a bit and see how it goes.
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